“Happy 80th birthday in dog years!”
Celebrate the birthday boy with a short, sweet, and silly message. Whether you’re writing a card, shooting a text, or searching for a cute caption for Instagram, these simple birthday wishes are sure to make him smile. Poke fun at his habits, age, or behavior to make your message more personal, and make sure to wish him well for the upcoming year! Happy beer-thday, buddy! Happy womb expulsion day! Happy 30th birthday (again)! Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Have a drink for me on your big day! Or two…or four!! Older? Definitely. Wiser? Not so much. Happy birthday, brother! Happy birthday to the proof that getting older doesn’t make you wiser! Your birthday is the best excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up! Smart, handsome, and intelligent. But enough about me. Happy birthday! I got you the best present in the whole world—ME! Happy birthday, brotha! Every day, we celebrate you…But today, you get a card. Cheers, birthday boy!
“Why do cats love birthdays? They love to purrty!”
Throw in a dad joke to get the giggles going. If the birthday boy is known to drop a cheesy line from time to time, turn the tables to celebrate his special day! These tried-and-true jokes are cute, clever, and cringeworthy (in the best way), and they’re guaranteed to crack him up. What goes up but never comes down? Your age! What’s the fanciest birthday party you can throw a dog? A ball. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Hoppy birthday! How do you know if a birthday cake is sad? You look for the tiers. Why couldn’t the knot go to the birthday party? He was all tied up! What did the ocean say to the birthday boy? Nothing, he just waved. Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? It was a marble cake. Why were the birthday balloons in the bathroom? There was a potty! Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday? He was feeling a little hoarse. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday? He felt his presents. What did the basketball player do before blowing out his birthday cake? He made a swish.
“Happy birthday, old man!”
Poke fun at his age with a witty birthday message. Trying to add a touch of humor to your wishes? Throw in a lighthearted joke about aging to make his day. It’s the perfect way to lighten the mood and lift his spirits, especially if he seems a little down about getting older. Here’s to another year closer to velcro shoes! Best birthday wishes to my favorite senior citizen! Happy birthday, brother. Don’t hurt yourself blowing out all those candles! It’s time to celebrate the oldest person I know. Happy birthday, you dinosaur! Remember, it’s better to be over the hill than under it. Happy birthday, old man! Happy birthday, big man! Don’t forget to iron the wrinkles out of your birthday suit. Whatever you do, don’t let aging get you down. It might be too hard to get back up! If anyone calls you old this year, don’t stress. Just throw your cane and dentures at them! Don’t worry about getting older. Pretty soon you won’t be able to remember your age anyways! Happy birthday, bro! You’ve reached the point where it’s probably best to start lying about your age. We might need a fire extinguisher to put out all the candles on your cake this year…Happy birthday, you old timer!
“The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana.” —Betty White
Share a famous birthday quote when you’re at a loss for words. Struggling to find the right sentiments? Choose an author, celebrity, or public figure that the birthday boy admires, and use their words to share your well wishes. Whether you opt for something funny, wise, or touching, including a quote is sure to make him feel cared for. “Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” —Joan Rivers “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” —Phyllis Diller “Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere.” —George Burns “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” —Bob Hope “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” —Charles Schultz “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” —George Burns “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.” —Anthony Powell “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” —Terry Pratchett “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” —Cardinal Spellman “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” —Sir Norman Wisdom “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” —Ogden Nash
“You don’t look a day over handsome AF.”
Make your man feel good about aging with a flirty (or dirty) birthday wish. Remind your partner that he’s still got it to make him feel desired. Complimenting his appearance is one of the best ways to boost his self-esteem, strengthen your relationship, and get the sparks flying! Happy birthday to you and your amazing butt. May your birthday be as great as your girlfriend. Happy birthday, bae. Love, the best decision you ever made. Happy birthday, babe. You’re officially old enough to be a DILF. This is turning into a really long one night stand…Happy birthday, baby. You’re sexy, fine, and all mine. Happy birthday to the hottest guy I know. Happy birthday to the 8th Wonder of the World…my handsome husband! I couldn’t decide what to get you for your birthday, so I’ll just get you naked. Like fine wine, you’re getting better with time. Happy birthday to my silver fox. I promise to always be by your side…or under you, on top of you, wherever you like.
“Happy one year closer to retirement!”
Crack a joke about work to make your coworker laugh out loud. Send a birthday card to your colleague (or boss) to brighten his day and make him feel important. Including a playful joke about the workplace (or all the shenanigans you get up to together) can deepen your bond, but make sure your message is still appropriate and professional. Happy, happy birthday. Wishing you many salary raises! Happy birthday, man. May you get showered with paychecks! You make this place tolerable—and that’s not easy! Happy birthday!! Happy birthday to a coworker who has the world’s greatest coworker! Happy birthday, boss. You deserve a long vacation for putting up with all of us! There’s no one else I’d rather chat with on Slack. Happy birthday to my fav person in the office! Without you here, there’s a solid chance that I’d be unemployed. Happy birthday and thanks for all that you do! If they ever hack into our Slack convos, we’ve never met, okay? Happy birthday to my office bestie and the king of gossip! Happy birthday to the guy who’s always there to answer my questions…even when I ask 30 times. So grateful to have you on the team! Happy birthday to my favorite colleague. They say if you enjoy your job, you’ll never work a day in your life. So, I guess you really love it here!
“Don’t count the years, Dad. Count the hairs left on your head!”
Honor the man who raised you with a humorous birthday wish. Humor is one of the best tools to bring people together and deepen your relationships. So, come up with a hilarious birthday message to make your dad feel all the love. Whether you tease his age, interests, or personality, a witty wish is the perfect way to spread some extra birthday cheer! Happy birthday to the king of dad jokes! Cheers to the guy who I will be stealing all my dad jokes from! Happy birthday to the guy I look up to the most (even though I’m technically taller)! So glad to have you as my dad…because you’ve passed on some incredible genes! Best birthday wishes to the man who taught me everything about life, love, and beer! Happy birthday to the man who brought the most amazing person (ME) into the world! Wishing the happiest of birthdays to the man who had to put up with my teenage angst! Happy birthday to the man who was unfortunately right about all my exes…Love you, dad! Happy birthday, Pops! Thanks for having my back (and not telling mom about all the times I snuck out). Here’s to the best taxi driver, the cheapest handyman, and the most generous bank I know—my Dad! All jokes aside, thank you for loving me and supporting my dreams!
“Being related to me is the greatest gift of all!”
Put your brother in his place with a silly (or savage) one-liner. Looking to roast your brother in a loving and lighthearted manner? Use any of these epic lines to express love, make him feel like a kid again, and remind him that you’re the funnier, smarter, and better looking sibling. Happy birthday, brother. It’s a shame you never got the brains or good looks???? Bro, you won at life. Having me as your sister is the ultimate flex—happy birthday! Happy birthday, bro. Cheers to another year of me being the better-looking sibling! Happy birthday, brother. Thanks for making me look like the sane one in the family???? Happy birthday to a brother who’s smart, funny, charming…and reminds me a lot of myself! Here’s to another year of sibling rivalry and making a common enemy. Happy birthday, brother! I can’t remember how old you are so I’m just going to judge by your face. Happy 80th birthday, bro! I always wanted a funny brother, but I guess we can’t get everything we want in life. Happy birthday, chump. There’s so many words I could use to describe the man you are, but why ruin your special day? Happy birthday, bud! Don’t be sad that you didn’t get the brains in the family…be sad that you didn’t get the humor or good looks either! Happy birthday, broski. When you’re stuffing your face with cake tonight, remember who lied for you all those times mom asked where you were. Happy birthday, brother!
“A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.”
Give your friend the gift of laughter by sending a funny birthday wish. Whether you’re celebrating with him in person or sending your love from afar, the birthday boy is sure to treasure any thoughtful message that comes from the heart. Highlight your favorite memories together, drop an inside joke, or mention how excited you are for the next chapter in his life. When the babes run out, I’ll still be here for you, bro. Happy birthday! Happy birthday to a handsome bastard who mogs everyone in the room. They say life is short, so smile while you still have teeth. Happy birthday, my guy! Happy birthday, bestie! I hope you have a blast tonight, but please try not to end up in jail. Happy birthday to a charming, intelligent, and all-around amazing guy. Takes one to know one! Happy birthday, man. May the drinks be free-flowing and may a hottie find you at the bar tonight! Happy birthday, man! Hope you’re not waiting for a present because my presence is my gift to you. Happy birthday, best friend! Here’s to another year of laughing till we cry, making bad decisions, and traveling the world! Happy birthday to an absolute legend. Tell you what, because it’s your birthday, tonight’s post-bar pizza slices are on me. To my one of a kind friend, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer. Happy, happy birthday.
“Happy ???? day. Let's get this???????????? started!"
Sprinkle in some emojis to spice up a standard birthday text. Wishing the birthday boy a happy birthday via text? Get creative with colorful, birthday-related emojis to create a message that stands out from the rest. If you’re using an iPhone, don’t forget to send fireworks or confetti effects! Like 50 Cent said, we're gon’ party like it’s your birthday???????????????????? You'll always be my ???? Happy birthday to the most genuine guy I know???? Cheers, birthday boy???? Remember, you’re not old…You’re classic✨✨✨ Happy, happy birthday???? Sending you loads of birthday wishes and kisses???????? Here’s to more life, love, and laughter???? It’s our golden year, so let’s get this ???????? The countdown to your mid-life crisis has officially begun⏳ Happy birthday, you old man???? Happy birthday, bro???? Here’s to another year of successfully evading the Grim Reaper???? Happy birthday, my guy! Remember that age is just a number (but in your case, a really BIG one)???? You’re never too old to blow out candles on a birthday cake, but we might need to keep a fire extinguisher handy this year???????????????? Happy birthday, old man???? You know you’re old when the time you go to bed is the time you used to go out…???? Happy birthday to my bestie (and the ultimate wingman)! Hope we’re still fist-pumping it up when we’re 90????
“It’s not my fault…Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!”
Send him a belated birthday wish if you missed the big day. Even if your message didn’t arrive in time for the big day, shoot the birthday boy a belated message to let him know that you’re thinking of him. Add some humor to lighten up the mood, like telling him that your message got stuck in traffic or that you’re extending his birthday celebrations. Yes, I forgot your birthday. But on the bright side, I forgot your age too! Sorry I wasn’t there to mourn the loss of your youth. Stay sharp, old man! Sorry for the delay in birthday wishes. Let’s blame it on Mercury being in retrograde! I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday! Better late than never, right? Wishing you a belated happy birthday that’s as exciting and amazing as you are! Happy belated birthday to someone who deserves to be celebrated every day…just not on their actual birthday! I know this message is a little late, but good things come to those who wait. Happy birthday, bro! I hope you get everything you wish for and more. I couldn’t decide what to get for your birthday, so I landed on giving you the gift of suspense. Happy belated birthday to the most patient person I know! Hoping this minor speed bump in our relationship is overlooked, but know that the wishes I sent to you got stuck in traffic. I love you dearly, and I’m sorry for the delay. Life is all about forgiving and forgetting. I forgot about your birthday…so you can forgive me? Works for me! But seriously, I’m so sorry about skipping your birthday, man. I hope you had the best day, and I promise I will make it up to you!
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