Challenging Negative Thoughts
Acknowledge your negative thoughts. The first step in overcoming your negative thinking is acknowledging that it exists. Ignoring these thoughts does you no better than dwelling on them, so both behaviors should be avoided. Instead of trying to push these thoughts away, take a moment to think about them and to examine how you are feeling in your body. Developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the first step towards becoming more positive. For instance, perhaps you are thinking “I will never be able to do this job”. Acknowledge the thought, and then move on to addressing it. You can also try asking yourself some questions to understand your negative thoughts better. For example, you can ask, “What emotions am I feeling along with these negative thoughts?” “When did I start having these thoughts?” “What was I doing, or who was I interacting with when these thoughts occurred?” and “When was the earliest time in my life when I first started experiencing these feelings and thoughts? What happened during that time? Who was in my life then?”
Forgive yourself. Sometimes, our negative thoughts are rooted in something bad we have done or something we dropped the ball on. Remember that you are human and that no human is perfect. Acknowledge your feelings but then forgive yourself for what caused them. Though it is normal to re-experience guilt, it is also okay to let it go. For instance, perhaps you have been off of your diet for a few days even though you pledged that you would keep it up. Though you should work to keep promises to yourself, remember that you will make mistakes from time to time and that is okay.
Question your negative thoughts. Gaining a better understanding of your negative thoughts may be helpful. Ask yourself questions about the negative thoughts you are experiencing to gain better understanding of the issue. You can ask yourself questions like, “Why am I having this thought? Is it benefiting me right now?” “If this thought is created from an interaction or experience, do I have all the facts to validate why I am having these thoughts?” “Is this something I can change within me, and how can I make this change for the better?” “Am I dwelling on these thoughts?” “Am I having racing nagging negative thoughts to the point where it is disrupting my daily life?” and “Am I able to utilize healthy coping skills to address these negative thoughts? If so, what are these coping skills, and have I utilized them effectively? Or, is this a pressing issue that maybe needs assistance from a professional therapist or counselor?”
Acknowledge your progress. You may not be where you want to be at the moment and that’s okay. Take some time to reflect on the progress that you have made as it relates to your negative thinking. You will often times find that you don’t give yourself enough credit for the strides that you have made. For instance, if you are thinking of yourself as being a terrible student, reflect on the time that your professor gave you high marks on a paper or how you have recently spent more time studying.
Write out a thought record. You might find it helpful to process your emotions by writing them out, so get out your journal and develop a ‘thought record.' Write down the thought that you had, how you’re feeling, why you may feel that way, and solutions to eliminate this kind of thinking in the future. Identify when the negative thought arose. Identify the source of your negative thought. For instance you might write something like: I had a thought that I am not good enough and that made me feel sad. I feel this way because I got a bad grade a few weeks ago. However, I have been studying more lately and feel more confident.”
Take into account the consequences of your negative thinking. Though you should not avoid your negative thoughts, you should also consider what good can possibly come from them. You will often find that negative thinking rarely yields any positive results. The more you work out your negative thinking, the more rarely you will experience these kinds of thoughts. For instance, if during a project you think “I cannot do this” consider how that will impact your work. It will likely put a wrench in the process, so try instead to be positive and productive. Try to redirect your thoughts to two or three positive thoughts whenever you have a negative thought. For example, if you are feeling upset at yourself for failing a math test, then you might reflect on the A+ you got on your history test, or how quickly you ran the mile in gym class the other day. Or, you could just think about something about yourself that you like, such as your kind nature or your personal style.
Developing a Positive Mindset
Write down your strengths and accomplishments. Often times, we think negatively about ourselves or situations because we have forgotten or overlooked all of the positivity in our lives. Take a few moments to write two separate lists, one of personal strengths and one of accomplishments. You will often find that there are far more things to celebrate in your life than there are things to mourn. When you begin to think negatively, review this list.
Meditate or do yoga. Meditation and yoga are great ways to destress your mind and find peace in life. Yoga is also a way to incorporate positivity into your life while exercising. Develop some mantras to reflect on while meditating or doing yoga. These mantras can include things like “I am powerful and I am positive.”
Surround yourself with positive people. There is a saying that goes “you are the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with.” Remember that your friends have a great amount of influence on you, whether you acknowledge it or not. If you surround yourself with negative people, you will continue to have a negative mindset. Seek out and develop friendships with people who are happy and positive.
Write down the things you are grateful for. In addition to having a list of personal accomplishments and strengths, you should also write out a list of the things that you are grateful for. This will help you remain positive during difficult or frustrating times. Consider adding things like your family, friends or job.
Develop positive affirmations. One powerful way to combat negative thinking is to replace these thoughts with positive ones. Work to develop some replacement thoughts that you can think and reflect on when you begin feeling anxious or sad. You can use your list of accomplishments, strengths, as well as the things you are grateful for to help you think positively. You might say things like “I am a hard worker” when you begin to think of yourself in negative ways.
Enjoying Life More
Live in the moment. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our daily routine and in the busyness of life that we forget to stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of life’s little moments and don’t let them pass you by. If your friends invite you to go dancing after work, go! Get lost sometimes and explore new areas of where you live so you can find even more opportunities to be spontaneous.
Schedule time everyday to relax. Though you likely have very many responsibilities to attend to, make time for yourself everyday to recenter and find peace. Just like you schedule out time for your classes or for work, you should make time for yourself as well. Take a nice hot bath at the end of the day. Watch a show that you enjoy. Go for a walk or read a book.
Try new things. Don’t get so caught up in your routine that you forget to try things that you have never experienced. New experiences can enhance your life in ways that you may not have considered. Indulge in your hobbies and develop new ones. Try out a new kind of food or take dancing classes if you’ve always wanted to learn.
Eat healthy. Food is far more entrenched into our mental and emotional wellbeing than perhaps we would like to admit. Instead of binging out on unhealthy foods, fill your body with fruits, vegetables, and protein to give it the energy it needs to do all the things you have to do in a day. Remember that you can indulge in your favorite foods occasionally, just don’t overdo it.
Use humor. Life is all the more sweeter and enjoyable when you are laughing and laughing regularly. Find ways to incorporate humor more into your life so that you laugh often. Watch comedies, spend time with your funny friends, but also learn how to laugh at yourself. The less seriously you take yourself, the easier it will be to rid yourself of negative thinking.
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