How to Pass Gas in Bed Without Anyone Noticing

Position yourself on your back, lying flat with your hands on your sides. Try not to call too much attention to yourself. Be natural.

Slowly slide your hands under your buttocks with your palms placed upward. Left palm on the left buttock and right palm on the right buttock with the thumbs pointing out away from each other.

Firmly position the tips of your fingers on the crevice edge of the buttocks and slowly spread your cheeks apart. You want to do this slowly and until your sphincter is sufficiently open.

With your sphincter open, gently push the gas out of your anus by mildly bearing down. They key is to let it out slowly and silently. Imagine blowing a mouthful of air through loosely pursed lips. Too fast and strong will cause the lips to vibrate and emit noise. It's roughly the same effect.

When you've passed as much gas as you can, release the buttocks and let your sphincter close back up naturally.

Congratulations! You've just emitted gas without anyone knowing.

When you get out of bed, it wouldn't hurt to wash your hands.