How to Playfully Annoy Your Wife

Saying Annoying Things

Give her a silly nickname. Playfully calling your wife by something other than her name is nice because is both affectionate and annoying. You can choose a name that reflects one of your wife’s characteristics (“Pancake Snatcher,” if she always steals your breakfast), or one that is just plain silly (“Pudding Toes”). Just make sure that the nickname doesn’t poke at a flaw or something else she is sensitive about.

Mimic your wife. Children love to play the game where they repeat back everything that someone says. This is also a great technique to pull out when trying to get on your wife’s nerves in a lighthearted way. Try a dialogue like this (just don’t let it go on too long!) Her: “So what are we going to do tomorrow?” You: “So what are we going to do tomorrow?” Her: “That’s what I just asked!” You: “That’s what I just asked!” Her: “Why are you repeating everything I say?” You: “Why are you repeating everything I say?” Her: “Would you just stop?!” You: “Would you just stop?!” Her: “I mean it!” You: “Ok.”

Mock your wife. A variation of mimicking someone is to repeat what they say in a slightly different or exaggerated way. For instance, if your wife says something like “I just can’t find shoes to match this dress,” try repeating it back in an over-the-top imitation of her voice. You can also exaggerate what she says a bit, by saying something like “Oh, I just can’t find the right shoes! Life is so hard! What am I going to do?”

Point out something embarrassingly obvious. When your wife does something silly or harmlessly embarrassing, you can playfully annoy her by saying something about it. For instance, if she accidentally spills salad dressing all over her shirt, you could say something like “Hey, uh, I think you got a little something there on your shirt. It’s just right there. That little spot.” You may not want to try this technique when out in public, since it might really embarrass your wife. Instead, focus on helping her.

Playfully disagree with her. When having a conversation with your wife, start disagreeing with her about something that she obviously knows you don’t actually disagree with her about. This will be sure to annoy her, but since it is something obvious, she will know that you are kidding. For example, if you saw a cat: You: “Do you see that dog over there?” Her: “It’s a cat!” You: “No, it’s a dog.” Her: “It’s not a dog! It’s a cat!” You: “Oh wait, actually I think it’s a raccoon.” Her: “It’s a cat!”

Mispronounce words on purpose. When talking with your wife, try saying a few words the wrong way, such as “ahh-may-zing” for “amazing,” or by saying things like “That’s totes fabs” instead of “That’s totally fabulous,” or just “That’s great.” She’ll find this annoying, and a little embarrassing if you try it around other people. You can also turn this into a running gag if you consistently pronounce a certain word the wrong way.

Ask ridiculous questions. An easy way to have a little light-hearted fun with your wife is to ask her questions that she knows you don’t really want an answer to, and that are just plain silly. Ask her the question with a very serious expression on your face. If she says you are being ridiculous, say something like “No, I really want to know!” Example questions include: “If [insert your pet’s name] ran for president, do you think he’d pick me as his vice president?” "If the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus got in a fight, who do you think would win?"

Using Annoying Actions

Bump into her “accidentally.” Walk toward your wife and intentionally run into her. Then say something like “Oh, I didn’t see you there.”#Move her things out of reach. If you are taller than your wife, you can have fun placing her things up on high shelves or in cabinet’s that she can’t reach. She’ll be annoyed if she has to ask you to get them down for her, especially if you do it over and over again. Grab the thing she needs and hand it to her, saying something like “Well, I wonder how that got up there? Glad I was around to help you.”

Flirt harmlessly. There’s not real harm in innocently flirting with someone, and it might just get on your wife’s nerves in a playful way. For instance, you could offer a waitress a compliment, or joke around with a stranger—anything to get your wife’s attention. You may not want to try this technique, however, if your wife is very jealous or if you have had commitment issues.

Act exaggeratedly. Especially when you are out in public, you can annoy your wife if you move or talk very expressively. Try speaking dramatically, placing your hands on your cheeks to indicate “shock,” placing a hand on your forehead to indicate that you are overcome with emotion, etc.

Fool her with gifts. Take a big box and put a tag with your wife’s name on it. You could even put a brick in it to make it seem heavy. She’ll think it’s a large, heavy gift. Inside the box, place TONS of crinkled paper and just a tiny box with a piece of jewelry in it. She'll be so surprised, and a little annoyed at being fooled.

Challenge her to a game. A little competition can actually be a great way of showing your wife you are thinking about her. The sillier the game, the more likely she is to be both annoyed and happy. You can challenge your wife to a variety of games, or just start one up and see if she participates: A snowball fight Thumb wrestling A dance-off A water gun battle A tickling match Wrestling

Letting Her Know You’re Just Kidding

Don’t annoy your wife at the wrong time. If you tease your wife when she’s in a good mood, she might find it playful. However, if she is tired, stressed, trying to be serious, etc., then you should back off. In those cases, it’s better to be supportive and caring.

Avoid certain topics. You should only annoy your wife with harmless activities, and by saying things that aren’t hurtful. You should stay away from teasing her about things she really values, or about sensitive issues (such as weight).

Use non-verbal cues. You can’t always tell the difference between when a person is being annoying in order to be playful, and when the teasing is meant to really get on someone’s nerves. You can communicate that your intentions are good by smiling when you tease your wife, changing your tone of voice, hugging her, give her flowers afterwards, etc.

Don’t use humor to mask a problem. If you and your wife are having real relationship issues, it may not be the best idea to try and correct them by joking around or teasing. Instead, consider talking about the problem or issue, or even consulting a counselor.

Stop when asked. You should never go too far when annoying your wife, especially when it comes to physical teasing. If she says “stop,” then you absolutely must stop. Remember that you want to preserve happiness in your marriage, and that you don’t want your wife to feel hurt or bothered. Always try to think about the reason why you feel the need to annoy her. Try to not joke around at her expense.