Send a friendly greeting.
Respond to their greeting or start the conversation. A simple “hello” shows that you’re open to chatting with them, although it’s not the most engaging reply. Try tacking on a question or teasing them into opening with something more creative for a higher chance of a response. ”Hi! ????” “Hey there!” “Hi Blake! How are you today?” “Just a ‘hello?’ Come on, you seem more creative than that ????”
Ask them a question.
Ask them something interesting to get the conversation started. Questions show you want to know more about them and are more likely to get a response than a simple greeting or statement. Ask about something you notice in their profile or about some lighthearted local events (if you’re in the same area). Include their name to sound friendlier. “Enjoying this lovely weather we’re having?” “Hey! Did you really make that rainbow cake in your picture? It looks profesh!” “Hi Jordan, are you loving the first beach day of the year?” “How are you today, Rebecca?”
Find out why they’re on an app.
Ask them what they want to get out of Hinge. A like means they’re interested in you, but you’ll want to know more about their motivation for online dating before you take things too far. Keep your tone light and jokey—the apps are meant to be fun, after all!—and share what you’re looking for if you want. “So what brings you on here?” “*pulls out magnifying glass* So what are you looking for on here?” “Hey there! What brings you to Hinge on this rainy afternoon?” “Hi! Love your profile. Are you more of an LTR person or a casual dates person? I’m looking to settle down myself.”
React to their prompts.
Respond to one of their prompt answers if you’re sending the first message. Hinge has a ton of prompts for users to share more about themselves and show some personality, like “I know the best spot in town for…” or “A random fact I love is…” Skim through your liker’s answers and react to something that sticks out to you. “The best spot in town for sweet potato tater tots!? Please share ????” “Your 2 truths and a lie answer is tough…I’m guessing you never actually went to the moon, but I could be wrong ????” “I love Mike and Ikes too! They always remind me of my hometown movie theater.” “That’s some random fact! I’m gonna pull that one out at parties for sure.”
Point out the pics you like.
Send a compliment or question based on your liker’s pictures. Hinge profiles feature 6 photos and users have the option to link their Instagram accounts too. This gives you plenty of inspiration for a reply! Try sending compliments, questions, or flirty observations like: “Great pictures!” “You look stunning in that sunset photo ????” “Is that a pic of Angkor Wat? I was just there last month!” “That mimosa photo is great but it’s missing something…me! ????”
Highlight your similarities.
Point out something you have in common based on their profile. Maybe it’s their answer to the prompt “I want someone who…” or they have a photo of them hiking in your favorite national park. Anything you have in common is a great starting point for a chat. Just keep it honest—there’s no use building a connection around something untrue. “You like cats over dogs? Same!” “Is that a Gemini hoodie you’re wearing? That’s my sign too ♊” “Nice pic of you at the Eiffel Tower. I’ve been there too, it’s amazing!” “Love that you’re looking for an LTR, I am too”
Thank them for their compliments.
If they sent you a compliment with their like, let them know you appreciate it. “Thanks!” or “that’s so nice of you” are great ways to accept a compliment graciously. Keep it simple—a quick “thank you” is the most endearing and effective response (and will psychologically attract your liker, too!). “Aw, thanks!” “Thanks, I appreciate that!” “Aw, that’s sweet of you ????” “Thank you!”
Compliment them.
Try complimenting your liker whether they included a message or not. This shows you’re interested or attracted to them, and they’ll be encouraged to respond. Respectfully comment on their appearance in their photos or tell them how interesting or funny their prompt answers are. If they complimented you first, say “thanks” and send one back to them, too. “You’ve got the funniest prompt answers I’ve seen all month lol” “Hey there. You’ve got a beautiful smile!” “Aw thanks! You’re pretty cute yourself :)” “An award-winning composer? You’re really talented!”
Answer questions with humor.
Send a creative, witty answer if they opened with a question for you. A simple “yes” or “no” answer doesn’t encourage lively conversation or say a lot about you. Inject some personality into your reply with interesting details and humor. For example: Them: “Wow, did you really paint that apple tree? It looks amazing!” You: “I sure did! I was at a paint-and-sip for a bachelorette party, so I had a lot of help from the instructor (and from the wine, too haha). Do you paint?” Them: “I haven’t really tried. Maybe I just haven’t found the right wine to get me going”
Flirt with them.
When all else fails, go for a flirty opener. Try respectfully complimenting your liker’s appearance or initiating a playful challenge. If you can relate it to one of their pictures or prompts, that’s perfect! If your liker sent you a teasing comment first, try to match their energy—misreading something as flirty or horny when it’s not is an easy way to end the conversation. “Oh hey, do you come here often? ????” “Not you looking fresh as hell in that suit ????” “Take a guess at which photo made me want to talk to you (hint: all of them ????) “If you could have dinner with me or me, who would you choose?”
Use “you” statements.
Use the word “you” more than “I.” They’re more likely to respond to you when your message shows you have an interest in them or you make them feel good. Too many “I” statements might sound self-absorbed or less friendly. “You seem like such a fun person!” “You really train dolphins? That’s so cool!” “No way you’ve been to Antarctica!” “You’re so interesting.”
Follow up if they don’t reply.
If you’ve sent your liker a message and they haven’t replied, try them again. On Hinge, a double text isn’t a death sentence. Data shows that if you wait at least 3 hours and 52 minutes to message again, the recipient is more likely to respond to you than ignore you. Go ahead and send that followup—chances are it’ll work out! You: “Hey there, how are you today?” You: “Hm, you must be too busy being adorable” Them: “Haha you caught me! I’m good, how’re you doing?”
Match with them.
If your liker didn’t send a message, you can match without saying anything. This indicates that you want them to start the conversation (they’ll even get a bubble that says “Your Turn” next to your name). Matching like this says you might be interested, but aren’t super invested (or that you’re only interested in finding matches, not chatting). If no one feels like initiating the conversation, it’s unlikely this match will go anywhere. If your liker did include a message when they liked you, responding like this might seem cold or even rude. If you can, send a thoughtful reply to start a quality conversation. If you’ve matched and sent them a message but they haven’t responded, consider unmatching them after about 48 hours. They might not be checking the app or they just might not be serious about dating.
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