How to Choose Music for a Wedding Ceremony

Setting the Tone

Discuss what type of music you want with your future spouse. The wedding ceremony is about both of you. Work together to decide what tone and genre(s) you would like for your wedding music. Consider whether you want your music to be traditional, trendy, or something entirely unique to you as a couple. Even if you are more involved in the planning than your future spouse, help them feel included by asking them about their opinion. For example, you could say, “How would you feel about classical music during the ceremony?” Write down any ideas you come up with while you brainstorm together, so that you don’t forget them later.

Develop a compromise, if you disagree. You may find yourselves at an impasse if you have strongly different preferences in music. However, remember that you will need music for several different parts of the ceremony, so you may be able to compromise by selecting different styles for different moments. For example, one of you might select more traditional music for the prelude and processionals, while the other picks contemporary music for the recessional. If you disagree, acknowledge your future spouse’s feelings, and let them know that their opinions are valid. You could say, “I know how important it is to you to keep most of the music traditional, but it would also mean so much to me if I could walk up the aisle to my favorite Norah Jones song.”

Select music that fits the style of your ceremony. Different types of weddings have different structures and different vibes. Select the kind of music that you think fits best with the ceremony you have in mind. For example, if you’re having a low-key beach wedding, contemporary pop music or romantic oldies might be a good fit. For a very traditional or religious ceremony, you might want to stick with hymns or classical music. Speak to your officiant if you have any doubts about what might be appropriate.

Choose music that works with your venue. The venue that you select will have an impact on what kind of music you can use. Before putting together a setlist, check with your venue to find out if they have any rules and restrictions regarding wedding music. Other things to consider include: Is your venue big enough for the kind of ensemble you want? Is your venue indoors, or outdoors? For example, a beach wedding might not be an ideal setting for a grand piano. Does your venue already provide instruments or musicians? E.g., if you are having your wedding in a church, an organist might be provided by the venue.

Selecting Your Songs

Pick songs that are meaningful to both of you. Think about songs or pieces of music that say something to you, or about you, as a couple. Depending on the type of ceremony you are having, this could mean anything from a hymn that expresses a shared spiritual belief to a sweet love song that you danced to at your first date. Don’t be afraid to break away from traditional wedding favorites. For example, if you’re both huge Beatles fans, you could play “All You Need is Love” as you walk up the aisle.

Select quiet, atmospheric songs for the prelude. This is the period before the ceremony starts, when the guests are being seated. Plan on starting the prelude music 20 minutes or so before the ceremony starts. For the prelude, instrumental music is a good way to go. If you’re going with classical music, a simple but evocative piece like J. S. Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 could be a perfect mood setter.

Choose a few powerful pieces for the processionals. This is the part of the ceremony where the members of the wedding party and the couple make their entrances. Traditionally, a separate piece of music is played for a bride’s entrance. You might select a song for each of your entrances. Everyone’s attention will be on whomever is walking up the aisle, so choose a piece of music that fits the person or people. Traditional processional favorites include the chorus of Wagner’s “Wedding March” from Lohengrin (which you may know as “Here Comes the Bride”), or Pachelbel’s Canon in D. Many couples today opt for more contemporary pieces, like Christina Perry’s “A Thousand Years” or “Marry Me” by Train.

Play upbeat songs during the recessional. This is when everyone walks back down the aisle after the ceremony is complete. Recessional music is usually upbeat and celebratory, since it marks the start of your life as a married couple. The traditional recessional piece that most people are familiar with is Mendelssohn’s stately “Wedding March,” typically played on an organ. If you’re looking for a more fun and modern alternative, consider something like “First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes.

Include your songs in the rehearsal. Once you have picked your songs, make sure that they fit with the timing of your ceremony. It’s especially important to practice the processionals with the music. If you can, do a practice run with the musician(s) or DJ who will be providing music at your wedding.

Choosing Your Musicians

Decide on a budget for your music. A solo musician or a DJ is likely to charge less to play at your wedding than a big ensemble. Before you start looking for musicians, take a look at your wedding budget and decide on a maximum amount you are willing or able to pay for the music. If you’re not sure what the typical rates are for wedding musicians in your area, discuss it with a wedding planner or check out a site like Costhelper.com to get an idea of what to expect.

Do research on musicians in your area. Do an internet search for musicians or DJs who perform at weddings in your area. If you know what type of group or musician you are looking for, you can narrow down your options with an entertainment directory like GigMasters.com. While you are looking at your options, make note of: Reviews and testimonials from others who have hired the musician(s) you’re interested in. Quoted price ranges. Do they fit your budget? Music samples. Listen to recordings or clips of the musician/group performing to make sure their style fits your needs.

Try to see a live performance. If you can, check out live performances by a few of the musicians or DJs you are most interested in hiring. This will give you a better idea of how their music sounds in person and what sort of dynamic they have with an audience. This is also a good opportunity to make a face-to-face connection and get an idea of how well you might work together.

Arrange a meeting. Once you’ve narrowed down your choices to a couple of different options, contact your potential wedding performers and arrange to meet with them as a couple. Make sure that you’re all on the same page, and that they can work with your schedule, song choices, and venue. Once you’ve agreed to work together, make sure to put your agreement in a formal contract.

Hire a friend to perform, if you’re on a tight budget. If you have any friends who are musicians or DJs, consider asking them to perform at your wedding. Your friend will probably be honored to be asked, and will appreciate the work. Having a friend play or DJ for you will also add an extra personal touch to the ceremony. While you should not expect your friend to perform for free, they will probably be willing to offer you a rate that is considerably lower than the industry standard.