How to Congratulate Someone Getting Married

Extending a Formal Congratulations

Use nice stationery to write a letter if the wedding will be a formal event. Opt for a piece of stationery with a matching envelope rather than a card for weddings where the dress code is listed as “formal” or “black tie.” The blank paper will give you more space to write and will look more professional. If you don’t have stationery, use a sturdy wedding greeting card that’s blank inside. If the invitation doesn’t specify a dress code or the dress code is less formal, you can still use stationery for your letter.

Reflect on your relationship with the couple. Start your congratulations by thinking about your past with the couple. Talk about some of your favorite memories, like the first time you met. Depending on your relationship, you might choose more serious moments or funnier moments for your letter. For example, you could say, “I remember when you first introduced me to Sarah and all I could think about was that you looked happier than I’d ever seen you!” If you know both partners from a hobby, you could say something like, “I’m so glad that our rock climbing group brought you two together.” If you only know one of the two people who are getting married, you can direct your letter to the partner that you know and reference their future spouse throughout.

Mention how excited you are to celebrate their wedding with them. Shift your focus to the upcoming festivities to talk about how happy you are to be attending the wedding. Tell them that you were so excited to get your invitation and that you’re glad to share such a special and important day with them. If you haven’t seen the couple for a while, you can say something like, “I can’t wait to see you again and share this special day with the both of you!” If you're a member of the wedding party, you can say, "I'm so honored to be a part of your wedding day, and I can't wait to see you up at the altar."

Write some words of wisdom for the couple if you think they’ll like it. Many couples like to receive advice from older, married relatives and friends on how their made their marriages work. Include any sentiments or rituals that helped you through a hard time or made you really appreciate the good times. For example, you could write, “For the rest of your lives together, surround yourself with friends and family who will strengthen your marriage, just as you have today.” If your parent is getting married, you could write something like, “You’ve given me so much advice over the years, but now it’s time for me to give you some. Keep doing what makes you happy!”

Add a blessing if the couple is having a religious ceremony. If you know that the couple is religious and will be having their ceremony in a church or temple, feel free to offer a blessing. Make sure both partners are religious before doing so since it could be offensive to ignore one religion in your letter. For instance, if the couple is having a Jewish wedding ceremony, you could write something like, “Mazel Tov on your wedding day!” For a more non-denominational religious blessing, you could say something like, “I’m praying and wishing joy for you both on your wedding day.”

Include a final sentence to wish them happiness. Close out your letter with a sentiment about your hopes for their bright future together. Stay positive and upbeat about their future as a couple, and remind them that you love and support them both. You could close your letter by saying something like, “I hope the love you share on this day only grows stronger as you grow old together.” You might also say something like, “Wishing you happiness now and always. Remember, I’m always just a phone call away!” Signing the Card Choose a phrase that’s simple and sweet to sign off on the card. For example, “With love,” “Lots of love,” “Best wishes,” and “Congratulations!” are all great options.

Offer your congratulations before the wedding if you can’t attend. Most people bring their wedding cards to the ceremony or reception to give them to the newlyweds. If you’re not going to be attending the wedding, mention that you’re thankful that you were invited and that you’re thinking of them on their special day. For instance, you might say something like, “I wish I could be there with you to celebrate, but I hope you can feel my love and support from afar.” If you’ll see them soon, you can say, “I can’t wait to see pictures and hear all about it!”

Wishing a Casual Congrats

Pick a greeting card for extending informal congratulations. For casual ceremonies, don’t worry about being too formal for your congratulations. Select a simple wedding card that’s blank inside or has a short saying about marriage, love, or happiness. Make sure the saying is appropriate for the couple and the occasion! If the card already has a message in it that you like, you can write something simple, like, “Wishing you all the best!” or “Congratulations on your marriage! Wishing you nothing but love and happiness!”

Reference fun times that you’ve had together. If you want to add a bit more to the card, look to your past experiences with the couple for inspiration. Make sure to keep things lighthearted and appropriate, and focus on happy, positive memories. If you don’t know one person in the couple, try to avoid inside jokes in your card. For example, you might say something like, “I hope our annual Star Wars marathon can continue even when you two get married!” If you've spent time with the couple together, you can say something funny like, "So, I'll see you both for dinner on Thursday at our usual time when you come back from the honeymoon?"Tip: If one of your family members is getting married, remember to make their new spouse feel included in the family. Try saying something like, "Does this mean I get to have Josh's amazing mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving every year? Yes!"

Make a wedding pun or joke if you’re not sure what to write. If you’re not as close with the couple, or you’re attending the wedding as a plus one and want to extend your congratulations, stick to something more generic. In this case, it’s better to be funny and positive rather than serious and sentimental. You might write something like, “Aren’t you glad the wedding planning is over now?” or “Congratulations! Enjoy some extra champagne for me!” Remember to tailor your joke depending on your relationship with the couple. If you aren’t super close, you could write something like, “True love is finding someone who laughs at all of your lame jokes. I hope you have a lifetime of laughter together!” It’s best to steer clear of “better half” and divorce jokes, as those can be seen as inappropriate and offensive.

Welcome new spouses into the family if they’re marrying a relative. Marrying into a close family can be daunting, so be sure to remind your new family member that you love them. If you’re close to the couple, let them know that you’re looking forward to spending holidays with them. For more distant relatives, keep things general but warm and welcoming. For instance, you can say something like, “I couldn’t be happier to call you both family!” or a simple, “Welcome to the family!” If your sibling is getting married, feel free to write something more personal, like “Today, I’m going to gain a new sibling, and I couldn’t be happier. Lots of love and happiness to you both!”

Include a gift with your card if you know the couple well. It’s common for close friends and family members to give the new couple a gift for their wedding day. If they have a registry, look on there to see if there’s anything you want to get for them. If not, you can include cash or a gift card to a grocery store or local restaurant. If you include cash, you can write something like, “Here’s a little something to help you start your life together.” For a gift card to a restaurant, you can write, “Treat yourself to a date night on me!”

Send a wedding card to the couple even if you aren’t invited to the wedding. If a coworker, old friend, or distant family member is getting married, they may not be able to invite you to the wedding. Write out a short, sweet card to wish them well before their big day so they know you still support them and care about this special time in their life. Try to leave out any negative feelings, even if you were disappointed about not receiving an invitation. For instance, you can write something like, “Wishing you both love and joy on your wedding day. Enjoy every moment!” Keep in mind that large weddings can become very expensive and they can’t invite everyone. Remember that the couple still cares about you and probably feels bad about not inviting you.