How to Fart in Class Without Anyone Noticing

Don't freak out. Remember that there is a way to fart and still be savvy.

Clench your anus when you feel your stomach growl. Even though you may feel immense pressure, it's best to not let the fart come out while your stomach is growling. The more pressure you feel, the more deadly and loud the fart will be when it comes out. So make sure your stomach isn't growling before you let one rip. Clench your fists to attempt to hold it in. Bite your lower lip (if necessary). Do anything to discreetly try and mask that you have to fart. If the feeling increases, clench your buttocks muscles. Hard.

Wait until the teacher starts talking before you fart. This way everyone will be busy focusing and the teacher's voice will mask the fart noise.

Lean forward on your chair, so that your torso is on the table and your butt is puckered out (your butt cheeks will be split so the fart won't be able to flap between them).

Slowly let the fart come out.

Once the fart is over, sit upright in your chair and begin to sniff the air.

Never say "Who farted?" or "Did you fart?". Other students may assume whoever smelt it dealt it. If someone else asks who farted, say "You farted!" To someone next to you. If people start suspecting that you farted, pretend to smell the air about you. Announce "This room smells like farts". This will transfer the suspicion to someone else. Act like you have no idea who did it. Remember, there are several people around you. It could be any of them.