He’s ready to date just you.
You deserve to be the number one person in his life. To make sure he's worth your time, check if he has the time, energy, and ability to focus on one person. See if he brings up his ex or other girls a lot—he should be totally over any exes and shouldn’t have any serious romantic connections. To test the waters, you can ask something like: “When did your most recent relationship end?” “Are you interested in developing a serious connection with one person?” “Do you have the time to regularly spend weekends with me?”
He has good manners.
If he’s really respectful, convos will start off on the right note. See if he leads with social graces instead of a bunch of flirty comments. Then, get a sense for how comfortable you feel around him—if he’s easy to talk to, it’s probably because he’s making a real effort to be polite. Here are some nice approaches to look out for: If you met online, he talks about your profile. For example, he may say, "Love that quote! That's one of my favorite movies, too." If he approaches you in person, he gives a friendly hello like, "Hey! What did you think of the show?" He starts off with details about your personality. For instance, he might make a comment like, "You're so observant! I appreciate what you said about..."
He asks you lots of questions.
His curiosity proves he’s interested in getting to know you as a person. When you open up, check if he keeps the convo on you and talks less about himself. Make sure he brings up a lot of topics related to you on his own, and always give creative responses. Here are some ways he may shine the spotlight on you: “So, where did you go to school? What did you major in?” “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?” “What are the top three traits you look for in someone?”
He digs your sense of humor.
If he laughs at the same things you do, you’ll never have a dull moment. Maybe you’re into silliness or sarcasm—whatever floats your boat, hit him with a taste of what you like. If he gets it right away, you’re on your way to a great match. Make some silly comments you usually only laugh at and see if he gets a kick out of them. Check if he points out what’s funny in life instead of making jokes about you. He should share jokes, memes, gifs, and stories he knows you’ll appreciate.
He shares your same interests.
You’ll feel more compatibility if he’s into the same hobbies. Everything will be more natural if you can bond over what you do in your free time. Plus, it’ll be great to find a new activity buddy. Throw out some comments about what you get totally absorbed in, then see if he takes the bait. To show he’s on your same wavelength, he’ll reply to you with excited comments like: “I’d be totally down for rock climbing! ???? I love outdoor workouts.” “Yeah, camping is an incredible experience! ⛺ It’s really fun to rough it.” “Ballroom dancing? Not a problem. I’ve always wanted to learn. ???? ????????”
He loves all your quirks.
If he accepts every part of you, it’s likely he’ll stay invested. Feel free to show off what’s uncommon or unique about your personality. Also open up about your values and what you really believe in. To test if he’s worth your energy, see if he gives you tons of positive feedback—you’ll know that you can share even more about yourself. If you apologize for anything, like unfiltered honesty, he’ll tell you he loves it about you. If you open up about something very vulnerable, he thanks you for trusting him. If you talk about what you care about, like the environment, he says he’s inspired.
He’s a great host when you come over.
If he wants to make you comfortable, he cares about your needs. Make sure he invites you into his space and shows you how he really lives. On top of that, check if he’s cleaned up and helps you settle in. He should always work to create a great experience when you hang out. He asks if you’re thirsty or hungry and is ready to cook or order in. He puts in extra effort in his space, like cleaning his carpets or lighting incense. He lets you kick back and choose what movies or shows to watch.
He introduces you to his friends.
Once he brings you into his circle, you’re an ongoing part of his life. Ask him about his friends and see if he tells you all about them. Then, mention the possibility of meeting them. Check if he jumps at the chance to include you in his social world. If he wants to show you off, you can tell that your dynamic is way more than a fling. He fills you in about parties or special events where you can meet everyone. He tells you about who you’ll meet and what the dress code is so you feel prepared. He says he’s already talked about you. For example, he might say, “I’ve already told them about you—they’re dying to meet you.””
He’s incredibly honest with you.
If he's an open book, he'll remain transparent in a relationship. Look for how freely he shares details. Then, see if it’s easy for him to say who he’s with, how he spends his time, and what’s important to him. Make sure he’s fine answering any questions you have about what he’s up to—if he is, you’ll have a stress-free dynamic based on trust. If you ask why he’s busy, he’ll explain where he is. For example, he might say, “I’m out at a work function till 8. You can swing by and meet up with me if you’d like to!” If you call him out of the blue, he has nothing to hide. For instance, he might explain, “I’m with my friends at a karaoke bar—can you hear them screaming in the background?” If you ask what he’s looking for in a relationship, he has an immediate response like, “What I’m really interested in is something long-term. I don’t want to date around.”
He’s kind whenever you’re with him.
If he’s considerate no matter what, he’ll always treat you right. A lot of people might make a good first impression to try and win you over—look out for consistency, instead. See what happens when no one’s watching. For instance, he may pick up some litter to make the world just a little better than how he found it. If he’s caring at every turn, you can look forward to tons of compassion. If you said you like poetry, he might text you some of his favorite lines to brighten your day. If he takes you to a restaurant, he’s friendly to all the staff. You’ll know you can bring him anywhere because he’ll treat everyone well. If there's a chance to donate to a charity, he’ll jump to help out. That will tell you he’s generous and really supportive.
He helps you stay hopeful.
His optimism will help you see the good in everything, too. Pay attention to how he describes situations—is he always pointing out details that make him really hopeful? Also discuss some rough patches in your life and see if he thinks you can overcome them. If he looks on the bright side, you’ll crave having him around because he’ll always lift your mood. He brings up everyday events, news stories, and small joys to make you smile. He listens to what frustrates you and keeps a positive attitude the whole time. He reminds you how capable you are and is sure you’ll rise above any challenge.
He wants to help you out.
His resourcefulness will prove you two can accomplish anything. Bring up a problem, then see if he springs into action and finds ways to improve it. If he faces an obstacle and knows just how to conquer it, he’ll be able to inspire you, too. If he puts his smarts to the test to make your life just a little easier, he’s definitely a keeper. If your apartment doesn’t let you have pets, he’ll volunteer at a local shelter with you so you can bond with some animals. If you live somewhere without a lot of nature, he’ll help you set up an indoor garden. If you can’t travel for your birthday, he’ll bring over dishes from all around the world.
He talks about a healthy lifestyle with you.
If he takes care of himself, he’ll be around for a long time. Check to see if he invests in himself and really cares about life balance. He should mention both physical and mental wellness so you’ll know he has a solid foundation for himself. In order to be a strong partner, he needs to have the energy and bandwidth to care for a long-lasting connection. He shares how often he goes to the gym and why it benefits him. He cares about sticking to a healthy and balanced diet. He’s willing to go to therapy if he needs some emotional support.
He’s there for you when life gets stressful.
If he sticks around when challenges come up, you can rely on him. Make sure that if either of you hit a hurdle, he still gives you his full attention. He should be a shoulder to lean on when you get overwhelmed. Once you feel like you can reach out for support whenever you need it, you’ve found a guy who will be your rock. If you’ve had an entire week that was really intense, he still stays in touch and cheers you up. If you’re really sad and want to isolate yourself, he reminds you to call whenever you need to. If you share anything really heavy, he thanks you for trusting him enough with those details.
He handles his personal finances responsibly.
If he handles his money well, you’ll be able to talk about finances easily. Check if talks about how he saves up and what he drops cash on. Also watch the choices he makes on your first dates—for example, if he picks up the check and looks totally relaxed, he probably has pretty great financial health. You can trust you’ll both stay afloat if you get together. Look at his outfit—if he has simple, high quality clothes, he invests in a wardrobe that lasts. Check out his car—if it’s in good repair, he’s willing to set aside money for necessities. He brings up vacations he’s gone on—he knows when to splurge to have a good time.
He always wants to celebrate your goals.
If he’s happy when you’re motivated, you’ve found a great teammate. Make time to list all you want to accomplish, then see how he reacts. If your visions are all he can talk about, then you can depend on his encouragement. He might give you praise like: “I’m pumped to hear you’re applying for that promotion! You’re so qualified.” “You could totally be a travel vlogger! You’re so creative and adventurous!” “You’re going to learn another language? Let’s practice together!”
He asks for quality time with you.
If he still can’t get enough of you, then he’ll keep pursuing you. Let him reach out to you and express his interest. Also see if he continues to make plans—that tells you that your company means the world to him. He might grab your attention with a comment like: “No matter how many times we hang out, I always want to see you!” “I miss you. Are you free Saturday?” “Since you’re off Thursday evening, I made reservations at that new bistro!”
He dotes on you.
He knows the kind of affection you like and spoils you with it. People usually prefer one—or more!—of the five “love languages,” which include praise, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and touch. See if he asks you what makes you feel special or if he can just tell when you light up. A guy who cares about what makes you feel good will make your life feel like a fairytale. If he notices you giggle when he hugs you, he’ll give you regular cuddles. If he picks you up a small box of chocolates and you kiss him, he’ll make sure to bring you snacks all the time. If you shower him with compliments when he puts together a bookshelf, he’ll keep asking how to help around the house.
He talks about a future with you.
If he dreams about how a relationship evolves, he’ll stay satisfied in one. See if he regularly talks about romantic milestones. Also ask him what he thinks will happen in 5 to 10 years. If he gives you both realistic and imaginative answers, you’ll know he’s reflected on the idea a lot. He might share some dreams like: “I want someone who still feels like my best friend after all that time. We better still have movie nights!” “I want to try something new every year with my partner in crime. You know, like skydiving and zip-lining!” “I want to move into a house in the woods with my partner. I also want two Great Danes—that’s a really important detail.”
He says he just wants you to be happy.
If your needs come before a romance, he might be The One. Make sure he expresses that he just wants the best for you. Also check that he respects whatever you ask for. Whether you need to go slowly or adjust anything to make your connection feel right, he’ll be on board. He’ll give you some sincere reassurance like: If you need some time to focus on work, school, or personal goals, he’ll say something like, “I support whatever you need for your personal growth. Your happiness comes first.” If you’d like to take things slow, he’ll tell you something like, “I’m always on your side—we can take our time if that works best for you.” If you ask him what his intentions are, he’ll share something like, “I’m here to add to your life. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure I enhance it.”
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