Set a few boundaries first.
Before you start sending a guy sexy texts, make sure he's cool with it. Discuss with your partner how much you're comfortable doing over text and what types of sexting you're willing to engage in. Once you know each other's preferences, you can sit back and enjoy the experience without worrying. For example: “I’d be into exchanging some NSFW texts, but I don’t think I'm ready to send nudes yet. Is that cool?” “What kind of dirty texts do you like? I’m happy to give anything a try!”
Pick a good time to text.
Make sure your guy is free and ease into the conversation. If you send him a steamy text when he’s at work or hanging out with friends, he won’t be able to reciprocate. Generally, late evenings are a good time to send naughty texts. If you aren't sure what he's doing, shoot him a quick “Are you busy right now?” text. Here are a few texts to get the ball rolling: “I wish you were here right now." “I hate sleeping alone...” “I can't stop thinking about you. It’s been hard to concentrate on work today!” “Today’s been so boring. Any ideas on how I can entertain myself? ????”
Start with a few suggestive compliments.
Make him feel good by telling him how attractive you think he is. Complimenting him and telling him that he turns you on will make him feel confident and excited. When he knows you’re having steamy thoughts about him, he’ll start to think about you the same way. “You looked so great on our date last night. I keep picturing you in that fitted shirt…" “My friends always say I text you too much, but I can’t help that I find you so attractive!” “Last night was incredible. You’re so good with your hands, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it…????”
Use emojis for extra emphasis.
Emojis with a sexual connotation can be a fun way to turn up the heat. You can tell a story with your emojis, and let a guy know that you’re in the mood for sexting without saying it directly. Pick a couple of emojis with a secondary sexual meaning and send them to your guy; when he knows you’re in the mood, he’ll get horny too. You can use naughty emojis like the eggplant (????) taco (????), peach (????) or tongue (????). If you’re hesitant about being overly sexual right away, you can use other emojis too. For example: “You’re so hot! ????????” Another example could be, “Want to hang out later? ????”
Tease him a little.
Drop hints and get more intense over time to build his anticipation. Mention that you had a dream about him the other night, or tell him that the thought of him has been driving you crazy without fully describing your fantasies right away. The more tension you build now, the bigger the payoff will be when you finally see him. “I’ve got a ton of blankets and it’s still freezing. Should I put clothes on too?” “I had the HOTTEST dream about you last night. It’s all I can think about now. ????”
Go bold with a straightforward text.
If you know he's ready to get hot and heavy, just go for it. Once you’ve finished teasing, you can move on to texts that have a more overtly sexual message. Be clear about your intentions by changing the mood from flirty to sexy. “I have a confession: I want you. Like, right now.” “I’m thinking about tonight and getting excited already ????” “I need to feel your breath against my skin.” “It feels so amazing when we’re together!”
Ask him about his fantasies.
Find out what he'd like to do with you to get his imagination running wild. Use his answers to your prompts as fuel, both to continue the steamy exchange and for later, when you do see each other face-to-face. Get his input and be sure to ask, “And then…? What would you do next?” to keep the momentum going. “What would you do if you were here with me right now?” “What do you wish I was doing to you? ????” “Where do you want to touch me? ????”
Share your fantasies, too.
Add some vivid detail to your texts by telling him what you want to do together. Turning a guy on isn’t just about asking what he wants but also letting him know that you’re enjoying the exchange as much as he is. Text him detailing what you want to do to him (and what you want him to do to you) to get him excited. For example: “I have this fantasy about you and me in the bath. Want to hear about it?” “Know what I’m imagining right now? You and me, trying out this new position…” “If you were here right now, I’d be asking you to…”
Include lots of detail.
Sensory details will help him visualize your texts. Describe the clothes you’re wearing or what you’re going to do to him later. You could even come up with a sexy scenario for him to picture in his head. The more detail you add, the more he has to work with! For example: “When we see each other tonight, I’m going go slow and tease you. First I’m going to…” “I’m wearing that red shirt you like today. I can send you a picture if you want? ????” “If you were in a room with me, some whipped cream, and nothing else, what would you do?”
Send him sexy pics.
Guys enjoy the visual stimulation of suggestive photos. Make sure your photos have good lighting, a flattering angle, and show off specific parts of your body—usually your mouth, neck, chest, pelvis, bottom, or thighs. Give your guy a heads-up before sending a revealing photo of yourself to make sure that nobody else accidentally sees it. Remember that a photo doesn’t have to be nude to be sexy. A picture of you in a flattering outfit or underwear will also get a guy excited! Consider leaving your face out of nude photos. If the photos got out somehow, you still won’t be identified in them. Talk to your guy and agree to delete sexy photos after looking at them. That way, neither of you is holding onto sensitive material.
Bring up a spicy memory.
If you’ve been intimate with him before, refresh his memory. Bring up a hot experience you've shared, and reference the specific things he did that turned you on. He’ll start thinking of all the things that he loved about that experience, too. For example: “Remember that time we [something steamy you did together]? I can’t stop thinking about doing it again…” “Sleeping over at your place last week was so great. Let’s plan out our next sleepover…????”
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