How to Smoke a Cigarette Indoors Without Getting Caught

Choosing the Right Place to Smoke

Choose a single room to smoke in. If you’re trying not to get caught smoking in your own home, don’t smoke all over the house. Instead, designate a single room in your residence as a smoking room, and only smoke there.

Smoke before showering. If you run the water for your bath or shower, you’ll generate a great deal of steam. This steam neutralizes other airborne scents, including cigarette smoke.

Choose a space that is well-ventilated. If you’re smoking in a large office and want to avoid getting caught, light your cigarettes in a room with a window you can crack open. Open the window before you smoke to reduce the volume of smoke that accumulates inside. A tall and relatively disused stairwell might be a good option.

Don’t smoke near smoke detectors and alarms. If you smoke near a smoke detector, you could trigger it, alerting everyone in the building that you’re smoking. Even if you don’t trigger a noisy traditional smoke detector, you might get caught by a more modern smoke detector that can differentiate between fires and cigarette smoke. Newer smoke detectors use wireless signals to alert building managers when and where people are smoking. Keep an eye out for smoke detectors when deciding where to smoke indoors.

Choose an out-of-the-way location. When smoking indoors, steer clear of high-traffic areas. Smoking in areas with lots of people about only increases the odds that you’ll be caught smoking indoors. Instead, head to a disused part of the building or an empty back room.

Conforming to Best Practices

Get an air purifier. Air purifiers filter the content and the stench of air, erasing the stink of tobacco smoke. This will help you conceal your smoking when indoors. The best air purifiers will have an activated carbon filter. This filter is specially attuned to remove the odor of smoke. If you’re out and about but trying to not get caught smoking indoors, use a personal air filter. These portable devices filter your smoke, scrubbing its scent and toxins.

Do the wash regularly. Smoke clings to clothes, curtains, towels, and bedding. Remove these things regularly before they build up a heavy layer of smoke that could out you as an indoor smoker.

Dust your residence. Smoke particulate can mingle with regular dust and settle on your tables, TVs, and counters. Dust and wipe surfaces regularly to avoid accumulating telltale smoke scent. Don’t forget to wipe down your mirrors and windows.

Clean up your butts. Don’t leave your cigarettes in the toilet or on top of an open trash can. Wrap your cigarette butts in a damp paper towel to ensure they don’t accidentally ignite the trash can, then throw the whole bundle away. You can also store cigarette butts in an old pill bottle. Because they are airtight, this will not smell. Once the bottle is full, you can fill it with vinegar to neutralize any of the remaining smell and throw it away like normal.

Don’t let anyone suspect you go to smoke. If you’re indoors and head off on your own, have a good pretext. For instance, you might smoke when you’re running documents to another part of your workplace. Smoke only during periods of time when you won’t be missed. Smoking indoors when on your way to your lunch break, for instance, is a good option.

Turn the fan on. If you’re in a room with a fan or air conditioner, turn it on. The movement of air can disperse the smoke, making it harder for others to detect. This will reduce the likelihood you’ll get caught.

Neutralizing the Smell

Use odor-neutralizing sprays. After smoking indoors, you can avoid getting caught by spraying a room down with odor-eliminating sprays. These sprays will neutralize the smoky odor without adding a new scent of their own.

Try a homemade mixture to hide the scent. If you’re smoking at home, you could cook up a mixture to conceal the smoky smell caused by your cigarette. Just fill a large pot with water, one cup of white vinegar, one clove, a few drops of orange oil, and a dash of cinnamon. Bring the pot to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Simmer for 30 minutes. The aromatic mixture will conceal the smell of the cigarette you smoked indoors. If you don’t have all the ingredients necessary to make the pleasantly-scented mix, you could simply boil a cup of vinegar to conceal the cigarette smoke.

Light a candle. While this solution is probably difficult to use outside the home, scented candles can conceal – or at least reduce – the amount of detectable smokiness of a given space. There are dozens of scented candle flavors available both online and in big box stores. Choose one you like and light it after you’ve smoked indoors.

Use a scented air freshener. There is no evidence that any particular air freshener scent is better than any other at obscuring the stink of cigarette smoke. Obtain a bottled air freshener of your choice and spray it in the space you smoked in. Alternately, use a plug-in air freshener to regularly disperse a pleasant scent in the area you smoked.