How to Use (& Choose) a Vibrator for the First Time
How to Use (& Choose) a Vibrator for the First Time
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What’s the best way to use a vibrator?

What is a vibrator?

Vibrators are toys that are used for internal or external sexual stimulation. They can be used for penetrative pleasure (AKA inside the vagina or anus) or applied to your erogenous zones (like the nipples, inner thigh, or other feel-good places). Vibrators come in many shapes, styles, and sizes for vaginal, anal, and clitoral stimulation and can be used for solo pleasure, mutual masturbation, or on a partner during foreplay or intercourse. Vibrators are usually rechargeable or battery-powered, and many are also waterproof for use in the shower. Silicone, stainless steel, or ABS plastic-based vibrators are the most common, safest to use, and easiest to clean.

Types of Vibrators & How to Use Them

Wand vibrators A wand has a dome-shaped head and a long handle, making it look almost like a microphone. Because of their large size, they can pack a powerful motor and deliver intense vibrations to a broad area (they’re great for clitorial stimulation or even massaging other parts of your body). To try one, just turn it on and position the head against your vulva or clitoris. If it feels too intense, change positions or try stimulating another part of the body, like the nipples. Type of stimulation: External Best for: Clitoral stimulation, couples play What to look for: Look for a cordless, rechargeable wand for the easiest use. Try the Lovehoney Classic Wand 2.0 Extra Powerful Multispeed Massage Vibrator. It has a textured handle for a controlled grip, a silicone head, and 12 vibration speeds to help you find the perfect rhythm.

Bullet vibrators Bullet vibrators are small and simple toys with a pointed tip that’s perfect for stimulating the clitoris, nipples, perineum, or any other spot you enjoy (they are not designed to be used internally). To experiment with one, try touching the tip to your clitoris or another erogenous area and moving it in small circles until you find the groove that works for you. A bullet’s small size makes it great for travel or discreet use, and it’s simple to operate for beginners. Type of stimulation: External Best for: Clitoral stimulation, beginners What to look for: Look for a bullet with a silicone grip that fits well in your hand, since bullets can get slippery and awkward to hold. We recommend the Lovehoney Magic Bullet 10 Function Bullet Vibrator. This affordable, hard plastic bullet is latex-free, phthalate-free, and has 3 speeds and 7 patterns of vibration for a tailored experience (great for experimenting as a beginner!).

G-spot vibrators These vibrators target the notoriously hard-to-reach G-spot, located a few inches along the inner front wall of the vagina (near the belly button). They’re usually slightly curved and have a bulbous head to better stimulate the area. Some are about the size of a bullet vibrator, while others resemble larger dildos. To get started, warm yourself up with some solo play, then insert the vibrator a few inches. Press the head or curved tip against your vagina’s front wall until you find the sweet spot and your arousal levels intensify. Type of stimulation: Internal Best for: G-spot stimulation What to look for: Choose a G-spot vibrator that’s comfortable to hold and has a curved handle that lets you angle it according to your pleasure. If you’ve never used one before, try the silicone ROMP Hype Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator. It’s rechargeable, waterproof, and has 4 vibration patterns and 6 speeds to help you discover a plethora of new sensations.

Rabbit vibrators Larger than a bullet but smaller than a wand, rabbit vibrators target your clitoris and G-spot at once. To use one, insert the main shaft of the toy inside your vagina for internal stimulation, then use the shorter arm (sometimes resembling a rabbit’s ear) to stimulate your clitoris or vulva at the same time. Grind or move against the toy until you reach climax. Type of stimulation: Internal and external Best for: G-spot and clitoral stimulation What to look for: Make sure the rabbit you buy maintains constant contact with your clitoris (everyone’s anatomy is different, after all). The Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator is a best-seller with a whopping 36 different vibration combinations to give you ultimate control of your pleasure. Butterfly vibrators are similar to rabbits. The difference is that instead of a rabbit-like ear, they come with “wings” that stimulate the vulva and clitoris while the shaft stimulates the G-spot.

Classic vibrators and vibrating dildos A classic vibrator looks like a non-phallic column, while a vibrating dildo is designed to look and feel like a penis. In either case, these vibes are beginner-friendly and can be used for penetration or stimulating external spots like the vulva, clitoris, or nipples. Just pick the design and size you find most alluring, lube it up, and enjoy! Type of stimulation: Internal or external Best for: G-spot stimulation What to look for: Classic vibrators and vibrating dildos come in a variety of sizes and designs. Choose a dildo for a realistic-looking penis experience, or a vibrator for pleasure that doesn’t center a phallus. For a quiet option that’s perfect for newbies, try the Lovehoney Silencer Whisper Quiet Classic Vibrator. One button cycles through 3 speeds and 4 patterns, and the rounded tip and wavy shaft are perfect for both internal and external stimulation.

Suction vibrators OK, these toys don’t actually vibrate. Instead, they cover the clitoris with a small nozzle or hood and emit pulses of air to deliver a sensation that feels like receiving oral sex. The sensation isn’t as targeted as a bullet, for example, but feels deep and pleasurable. To use one, apply some lube and press the nozzle over your clitoris to form a seal. Turn it on and find the right angle that delivers the feeling you’re craving (or move it to another area if it gets too intense). Some suction vibrators even come with a G-spot stimulating arm for internal and external stimulation all at once. Type of stimulation: External Best for: Clitoral stimulation What to look for: Choose a suction vibrator that comfortably molds to your body and is easy to hold. The Womanizer Enhance Pink Pleasure Air Clitoral Vibrator is a best-seller that vibrates and provides suction (at the same time or separately, depending on your preference). With 10 air intensities, 10 vibration intensities, and 10 vibration patterns, there are endless combinations of sensations for you to experiment with and enjoy.

Finger vibrators These small and slim vibrators are worn on or over your fingers to provide targeted stimulation to your clitoris, nipples, perineum, or other pleasure area. They’re lightweight, beginner-friendly, and can be used for solo play or as a bonus sensation during hand sex or oral sex. All you have to do is slide the vibrator onto your finger, hold it against your clitoris, and find the vibration setting that feels best to you. Type of stimulation: External Best for: clitoral stimulation, beginners, couples play What to look for: Find the style that feels most comfortable for you, whether that’s a sleeve or ring that you wear on your finger, or a bullet-style vibe that fits between your fingers. The Lovehoney Ignite 20 Function Finger Vibrator is a waterproof and discreet customer favorite with 20 vibrating functions. It’s perfect for foreplay, travel, solo play, and beginners!

Egg vibrators Egg vibrators (or love eggs) are about the size of a bullet vibrator and look how they sound—an egg-shaped vibrator with an attached loop or handle to retrieve it from inside the vagina. To use, turn on the egg and massage your clitoris and vulva to warm up. When you feel ready, lubricate the egg and insert it to stimulate your G-spot. Just be careful not to lose the egg’s handle, since these toys don’t come with a flared base. Type of stimulation: Internal or external Best for: G-spot stimulation What to look for: Look for special features like a suction vibrator at the other end of the handle for dual stimulation (like the Lovehoney Rose Glow 2-in-1 Clitoral Suction Stimulator with Egg Vibrator). Some eggs don’t come with a handle at all and are meant solely for external stimulation, too. For a fun experience, we recommend the We-Vibe Jive App Controlled Rechargeable Love Egg Vibrator. This egg is wearable and can be operated with the free We-Vibe app from long distances (putting you or a partner in full control of your pleasure).

Wearable vibrators and vibrating panties “Wearable” is an umbrella term for any vibrator that stays in place on its own (you don’t have to hold it). These include things like vibrating anal toys and penis rings, finger and some egg vibrators, vibrating strap-ons, and vibrating panties. Vibrating panties are especially popular and come with a special slot or magnetic strip that holds a bullet-like vibrator in place. Regardless of the style you choose, wearable vibes promise hands-free pleasure during solo play or partner play. Type of stimulation: Internal and external Best for: Clitoral stimulation, G-spot stimulation, couples play What to look for: Choose a butterfly, egg, or anal vibrator for internal stimulation, or a finger vibrator or vibrating panties for external pleasure. Since there are so many opinions in this broad category, pick whatever feels comfortable and is fun to use! Remote-controlled options are also available for couples. Try the easy-to-use Lovehoney Rendezvous Magnetic Remote Control Panty Vibrator. A small magnetic strip holds the vibrator steady, while a remote control with 11 settings gives you (or your partner) full control, whether you’re at home or out on the town.

Couples and long-distance vibrators Like wearable vibes, “couples vibrators” is a general term for toys that work best when used with a partner. These include toys that pleasure both partners at once (like vibrating penis rings) or remote or app-controlled vibrators that work from a distance and give one partner control over the other’s pleasure. Remote-controlled vibrating bullets, penis rings, wearable eggs, anal toys, and vibrating panties are all fun and popular options! Type of stimulation: Internal or external Best for: Couples play, long-distance play What to look for: Consult your partner to see which vibrator would be the most fun to use. If you plan to be in the same room, a remote-controlled toy works best. For long-distance couples, an app-controlled vibrator makes it feel like you’re both together! Dip your toes into couples' vibrating play with the We-Vibe Chorus App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Couple's Vibrator. This luxury vibrator comes with a grip-controlled remote control—the harder you squeeze, the more intense the vibrations against your clitoris and G-spot (and your partner’s penis during sex). Or, use it long-distance with the free We-Vibe app.

Anal vibrators As you may have guessed, these vibrators (which can also include butt plugs, anal beads, prostate massagers, and more) are designed for use in the rear. They come in all shapes and sizes and are usually battery-operated or rechargeable. To use one, warm up by massaging the rim of the anus, then use plenty of lube before inserting the toy. If you’re a penis owner, target the P-spot (prostate gland) about 2 inches inside the rectum for a full-bodied and intense orgasm. Anyone can also use anal vibrators to massage the perineum, regardless of anatomy. Type of stimulation: Internal Best for: Anal and prostate stimulation What to look for: Always use a vibrator with a flared base for anal play to avoid inserting the entire toy without a way to pull it out. For beginners, we recommend the Lovehoney Butt Tingler 10 Function Vibrating Butt Plug (3.5 Inch). Its sleek design is great for new explorers, and it has 3 vibration speeds and 7 patterns for a wide range of sensations.

Penis rings and perineum vibrators We’ve talked a lot about vibrators for vagina owners, but there’s plenty of rumbly pleasure for folks with penises to have, too! A vibrating penis ring slides over the base of the penis (or around the entire penis and scrotum, depending on the size and design) to deliver vibrations to the penis and testicles (and to your partner during penetrative sex, too). Some also have an attached arm that vibrates on the perineum for a more intense and broader sensation. Others even come with an attached butt plug instead, so there’s a penis ring out there for you, no matter what your preference is. Type of stimulation: External Best for: Penis and testicle stimulation, couples play What to look for: Choose a ring that fits snugly but comfortably over the penis without excessively constricting blood flow (penis rings should not be worn for longer than 30 minutes to avoid circulation issues). For a classic design that’s fun for partners or solo play, try the Desire Luxury Rechargeable Vibrating Cock Ring. This high-quality silicone ring offers vibrational pleasure as well as a textured clitoral stimulation surface for partners to press against during sex.

Tips for Maximizing Pleasure

Get in the mood. If you struggle to get out of your head and enjoy yourself, create a relaxing atmosphere for yourself before busting out the vibrator. Pretend it’s date night with yourself—put on some music, dim the lights or put out some candles, and try to relax to put your mind at ease. Pro tip: Make sure your vibrator is charged before you get started. Nothing kills the mood like a dead battery!

Take your time. There’s no prize for speeding through your vibrator session, whether you’re solo or with a partner. Encourage yourself to go slowly and take your time so you can really experience what feels good to you. This is especially helpful if you’re new to vibrators—everyone uses them a little differently, so let yourself have a moment to discover your “magic touch.” Remember that reaching the big O doesn’t have to be the only goal. The journey there can be fun and pleasurable, too!

Explore new sensations in various places on your body. Spend some time exploring the sensations that turn you on. Do you prefer internal or external stimulation (or both)? Do you like a light vibration or a more intense rumble? Do you enjoy suction or other sensations on top of vibration? Knowing what you like can help you get the most out of your vibrator (and help you decide which kind to get, if you’re still in the market for one).

Play with different speeds and vibration patterns. Variety is the spice of life! Most vibrators come with different vibration intensities, patterns, and other settings to spice things up. Don’t be afraid to change positions, either. The same vibration pattern could feel totally different on your back versus sitting up or lying on your stomach. You’ll never know until you try!

Use water-based gel or lube for more pleasure. Lubrication makes for easy gliding, less friction during penetration, and an overall more pleasurable experience while you’re using your vibrator. Look for lubes or gels designed to be used with sex toys, or use a water-based personal lubricant. Do not use silicone-based lube on silicone vibrators or oil-based lube on latex vibrators, since these lubes can erode your toys.

Vibrator Safety & Maintenance

Use light to moderate pressure (at first). If it’s your first time, start with a light vibrating setting and gently touch the vibrator to your vulva, clitoris, inner thighs, and other pleasurable areas to get accustomed to the feeling. Once you feel ready, turn up the power, change the pattern, and explore new areas. Starting on a high setting can feel overwhelming or even uncomfortable if you’re not used to (or prepared for) the sensation. So, it’s best to take it easy at first and work your way up to a more intense setting as you learn what you like.

Buy vibrators made of high-quality, non-porous materials. Porous materials can harbor germs and bacteria, so choose vibrators made of silicone, glass, stainless steel, lucite, or a non-porous ABS plastic for the safest toy (research the material your vibrator is made of if you’re unsure if it’s porous or not). These materials are also non-toxic, which is important to consider since many sex toys and vibrators are unregulated by the FDA as “adult novelties.” Toxic materials to avoid include polyvinyl chloride (PVC), phthalates, bisphenol A (BPA), volatile organic compounds (VOC), phenol, carbon disulfide, toluene, cadmium, thermoplastic rubber and elastomer (TPE/TPR), rubber (if you are allergic), jelly rubber, natural porous materials, and low-grade versions of quality materials (glass, metal, silicone).

Clean your vibrator after each session and store it in a designated place. A clean vibe prevents infections like UTIs or even STIs, so always give your vibrators (and other toys) a wash with warm water and liquid soap after each use (check your vibrator’s instructions or care manual for specifics). Afterward, let them air dry on a clean surface in a cool place, and you’re ready for next time! Some brands also sell cleaning wipes or specially formulated soaps for sex toys. Store your vibrators in a clean spot away from the sun, dust, and other toys that may potentially spread bacteria if they aren’t 100% clean. A dresser drawer or a dedicated storage box are both great solutions! If your vibrator isn’t waterproof, wipe it down with a damp cloth and soap or a cleaning wipe (and avoid splashing or submerging it).

Remember that masturbation is good for you. Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of sexual development for both people with vaginas or penises. Studies have shown that masturbation can relieve stress and tension, improve sleep, boost your mood and focus, and even help alleviate physical pain, anxiety, and depression. There’s also zero risk of pregnancy and a very slim risk of sexually transmitted infections (just remember to clean your toys after use or place a new condom on them for each partner who uses them). There’s no “normal” amount to masturbate, but sometimes, masturbation can become compulsive and interfere with work, responsibilities, or your sexual relationships. If masturbation is impacting other aspects of your life, speak to a therapist and try replacing masturbation with another hobby. Can you use a vibrator too much? Using a vibrator in the same position and/or on the same area can cause temporary desensitization, but there’s no evidence for long-term negative side effects.

You can safely use a vibrator while you’re pregnant in most cases. Good news—vibrators and other sex toys are usually safe to use during pregnancy with a few precautions. Make sure they’re clean before using them to avoid infections that can be a risk for you and your baby. Wash them after each use and before switching to other parts of your body (like going from your anus to vagina, for example), and avoid sharing with partners. Do not use any vibrators that are scratched or have cuts on them, as these openings can harbor bacteria. Using a vibrator externally is a great alternative if your doctor cautions against penetrative sex while you’re pregnant. Talk to your doctor about using vibrators during pregnancy if you’re at risk for preterm labor, you have pain or cramps, you’re bleeding or leaking amniotic fluid, you have placenta previa, or your water has already broken.

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