views
Whenever a person gets angry, the people around them take them to be a bad individual or someone who has issues controlling their rage. While being extremely angry can be harmful to our relationships with others, there are many ways to keep this emotion bottled up. Therapist Klara Kernig suggests that, like any other emotion, it is crucial that you feel and express this one too. The expert stated, “Anger is an emotion that has gotten a bad reputation. Even in children, we punish any expression of anger when it’s a healthy expression, just like any other emotion!”
But, Klara added that she is not suggesting that people should express their anger any way they want, but that doesn’t mean they have to conceal it completely. Moving on, the therapist explains why people usually refrain from acknowledging this emotion. She mentioned it is mostly because, they were taught that open displays of rage or other “negative” emotions were impolite, made others uncomfortable, and should be avoided at all costs. Moreover, most people were probably expected to remain courteous even if their boundaries were crossed or their feelings were harmed. They were expected to remain silent, even in the face of disrespect.
The therapist said, “Speaking up, pointing out hurtful behaviour, or expressing “negative” emotions wasn’t regarded as a healthy response to those instances but rather seen as a punishable offense, again proof that you’re the one who’s too sensitive or being difficult.”
She recommends that what people need to remember in the face of all this conditioning is that rage is a good response in such situations. Speaking up and calling out harmful behaviour does not place you in a bad light but is a symbol that they value their self-respect. Furthermore, she suggests that anger is not something individuals should avoid or be embarrassed of. It’s a sign that they need to establish limits and their needs aren’t being satisfied. Ignoring it involves not just denying instincts, but also tolerating harmful behaviour.
While one must keep in mind not to hurt others in a fit of anger, those who lean towards pleasing others must neglect their own needs to be accepted by others.
Comments
0 comment