How to Be a Better Husband

Keeping the Relationship Healthy

Learn how to communicate. Open and honest communication is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship, and is the key to building trust. Without proper communication, simple misunderstandings can turn into full-fledged fights. Keep your relationship strong and avoid excessive arguing by simply expressing yourself on a regular basis. Discuss issues as they come up rather than bottling them up and growing resentful over time. Learn how to be diplomatic during arguments. Try not to get overly defensive if your wife is being critical of you. Similarly, try not to sound accusatory or angry when bringing up issues with them. Listen to them. Being a good communicator isn’t just about knowing how to talk. It’s important to give your spouse your undivided attention when they are speaking. Look them in the eyes, ask them questions, and don’t look at your telephone or computer screen if they're speaking about something important. If you are in a bad mood for any reason, then tell them explicitly rather than ignoring them or being short with them. This way, they can give you the space you need without taking your attitude personally.

Be willing to compromise. A healthy relationship is a two-way street. Over the course of your marriage, you will inevitably have to give up certain things to make them happy, and vice versa. If one of you is constantly giving in to the other’s demands without any reciprocation, there will likely be some resentment down the road.

Take time apart when necessary. In any long-term relationship, it’s natural for one or both parties to need some alone time to unwind and focus on themselves. There’s nothing wrong with needing time away, but it’s important to be vocal about it and assure them that they shouldn't take it personally. Designate one "free" day out of the week or month during which you can do your own thing, and let them do the same. If you have children, take turns watching them while the other one is out. Never lie to your spouse to avoid having to spend time with them. If they really love you, they will understand if you need to be alone or spend a night out with the guys.

Behaving at Home

Help out around the house. Studies have shown that the average woman spends 10 more hours each week doing housework than her husband does! Excessive housework and other stress-inducing activities can attribute to decreased sexual desire in both men and women. Help balance out the workload by doing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, doing yard work, handling repairs, and so on. The key is to help out around the house even when you have not explicitly been asked to do so. Remember that it is as much your obligation as it is your spouse's to keep the house clean and in shape. If you have children, help your spouse by offering to pick the kids up from school, watch them when they are busy, etc.

Respect their standards for cleanliness. Some people are more comfortable living in a messy environment than others. To ensure that you both feel comfortable in your own home, make sure that your house meets the standards of whoever is most nit-picky about cleanliness. Just because you’re okay with extra dishes sitting in the sink overnight, your spouse may not be, and you should respect that. If your spouse is the messy one, then gently remind them every once in a while to clean up their surroundings.

Pick up after yourself. Even your schedule doesn’t leave extra time to do chores around the house, there’s no excuse to not clean up your own messes. The least you can do is wash your own dishes, put your clothes away, and take care of your own laundry. If you are too busy during the week, then devote an hour or two each weekend to cooking, cleaning, and/or doing yard work.

Keep some mystery intact. Living with another person means letting down your guard and seeing each other’s less attractive sides. While this level of comfort is a true sign of intimacy, it can also damage the level of sexual attraction you feel for each other in the long run. Maintain your personal hygiene, be respectful when it comes to bathroom etiquette, and make an effort to stay in shape.

Making Small Gestures with Big Impacts

Get daily physical contact. Getting regular skin-on-skin contact releases a chemical called oxytocin, which reduces stress and increases feelings of intimacy in the long-run. Physical contact doesn’t necessarily mean sex. Kiss them goodbye every time you part ways, hug them when you see each other again, and cozy up in front of a good movie.

Laugh together. Every marriage has its ups and downs, and the only way to make it through difficult times is to maintain a sense of humor and be silly every once in a while. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian, but you should make an effort to put a smile on their (and your) face every day. Get tickets to a live comedy show, host game nights with friends, or play sports together; anything to get the laughter going! Getting regular laughter will not only improve your marriage, it can actually improve your health by lowering your blood pressure, increasing oxygen flow to the brain, and reducing stress levels.

Surprise them. Just because you’ve put a ring on their finger, doesn’t mean you should stop trying to win their affection. Every once in a while, make the same sweet romantic gestures that you did in the beginning of the relationship. Bring them flowers, get tickets to their favorite show, or plan a surprise romantic evening.