Before the Assessment
Learn more about signs of autism. Read the official DSM-V criteria, but also criteria written by autistic people, and articles that describe the criteria. Also consider consulting autistic bloggers, who can provide a picture of autism in daily life. It helps to write down a general list so you remember. You will be asked questions about things that relate to these criteria. Preparing the list will help you know what to expect.
Go through the list and think of anecdotes in your life relating to these criteria. The psychologist may ask you to tell some brief stories to "prove" that the criteria apply to you. This way, you will have examples on hand, rather than becoming flustered and confused by a sudden question. Example story (for stereotypy): "I recently saw a video of myself on my eighteenth birthday, when people surprised me with a cake. Everyone else was standing still, while I was rocking and swaying. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Then I learned about stimming and realized maybe I wasn't strange after all."
Write down anecdotes or observations about your life if you'd like. While you won't be able to predict every question, it may help to prepare some scripted responses if you have a hard time speaking spontaneously. Since the psychologist is an autism expert, they should be patient with your needs. It's not uncommon for autistic people to have trouble responding to questions, and your psychologist will understand that. It is not disingenuous to write down your thoughts—in fact, it is very helpful, because the responses come from a time when you can collect your thoughts at your leisure. If you may have trouble speaking, you can bring the prewritten responses to the assessment with you.
Take some online autism assessments. While not official, these will help you identify autistic traits and gauge approximately where you are on the spectrum. These include the RAADS-R, the AQ, the Short Autism Screening, and other tests. Don't just share your results: print out the questions and mark your responses on paper too. This can be a lot more meaningful to the specialist, because they can see why you might be autistic.
Deal with your fears and difficult feelings. Many people feel nervous or anxious before an autism evaluation, whether they turn out to be autistic or not. Even people who have very obvious signs of autism may fear that nobody will take them seriously. This is completely normal. Common fears include things like: "What if people say I'm just faking it for attention?" "What if nobody believes me when I talk about my struggles?" "What if people view me differently if I do get diagnosed?" "What if people laugh at or criticize me?" "What if my family refuses to accept the results?"
Take good care of yourself. Spend time with your interests, listen to good music, and spend some time with a close friend or a pet. This will help you feel relaxed before the conversation. Talk to a trusted loved one about your fears if needed.
Dress and choose comfort items appropriately. Assume that an autism assessment will take several hours, up to half a day. There will be talking and filling out questionnaires. You should wear comfortable clothes, and bring any comfort items or self-calming tools you'd like. If you're prone to anxiety, be especially sure to bring items that help you self-soothe. Dress for the weather. If it's hot out, bring a light sweater anyway, in case the air conditioning is cold. It's okay if you "look weird." The specialist is used to autistic people, and it's okay to show your quirks.
During and After the Assessment
Talk to the psychologist about any fears you may have. If you feel nervous, it's okay to say so. When you're with the specialist, it's time to be open and honest... and it can help to talk about your worries about the diagnosis process! Here are some examples of things you could say: "My mom refuses to believe that anything is different with me, and I'm worried that if you say I'm autistic or something similar, she won't believe you." "I've had bad experiences with therapy in the past, and I'm pretty nervous about this." "All my life, I've had people tell me that I'm too sensitive and that I overreact to everything. When I learned about autism, I realized that maybe I wasn't a bad person. But I'm really scared that people will dismiss me and telling me that I'm overreacting like always. Will you promise to listen and take me seriously?"
Be yourself. Here, it is okay to stim (rocking, flapping, etc.). You can dress how you'd like and act how you'd like.
Avoid hiding the parts of you that don't match up with autism stereotypes. Many autistic people have learned to adapt to non-autistic expectations, and will have traits that are stereotypical of non-autistics, such as making hand gestures or being able to carry a two-sided conversation. Also, different autistic people experience the signs of autism in different ways, and you don't have to perfectly match the stereotypes in order to be autistic. It is okay to say "No, I've never experienced that" if you have not experienced a certain part of autism. Every autistic person is different, and you're still valid if you don't check off every item on a list. Most autistic people don't.
Discuss the possibility of co-occurring conditions. Autistic people may also have anxiety, depression, epilepsy, sensory processing disorder, anger issues, sleep disorders, and other mental or physical illnesses. Your psychologist may be able to screen you for those or refer you to someone who can.
Be open to being assessed for similar conditions. Sometimes, people mistake conditions like ADHD, nonverbal learning disability, Reactive Attachment Disorder (in youth), schizoid PD, or social anxiety for autism. As the specialist talks with you, they may realize that something different fits you better. There's nothing wrong with you if you mistake something else for autism. You haven't hurt autistic people in any way, nor are you "stupid" for not getting it right on the first try.Keep in mind: It's not unusual for them to want to test you for more than one thing. For example, you might end up doing questionnaires on autism, ADHD, and social anxiety. And you may get more than one diagnosis. It's important to narrow things down so you can find the best strategies for how your mind works.
Speak up if you are worried that you may be getting misdiagnosed. The specialist won't know what you are thinking unless you say something. If you have concerns, don't be afraid to say them out loud. Then the specialist can slow down and talk to you about what they're thinking, and you can ask questions and tell them what's on your mind. If you're confused, just ask! For example, "I don't see how the diagnosis of ADHD would fit me. I'm not hyperactive at all. Could you explain your thinking?" Be assertive if the specialist is rude to you. (It's rare, but it can happen.) Say "I don't feel like you're listening to me" or "Please take me seriously." If you're getting stressed, say so. Say "This is stressful!" or "I need a break!" A good specialist will listen to your needs and help you wind down if needed.
Ask if you would be eligible for any sort of accommodations. At public schools, higher level education, and workplaces, you may be able to receive accommodations to meet your special needs. The psychologist may be able to write a report recommending specific accommodations. Here are some examples of accommodations that autistic people tend to receive if needed: School: A note-taker for lectures, extra time and a private room for exams, being allowed to bring fidgets to class, and access to a disability center Work: Working from home, a quiet working space, allowance for taking breaks, noise-canceling headphones and fidget tools, clear written instructions, mentorship, etc.
Take time to process the results. Give yourself time to cope and adjust. Recognize that a diagnosis does not define who you are, nor does a lack of a diagnosis deny your experiences. Recognize that occasionally, professionals can be wrong. For example, a specialist who only works with young autistic children might miss more subtle signs of autism in an adult.
Remember that you are a good person, no matter what the outcome is. Autistic or not, you are still likable and can make a contribution to the world.
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