How to Come Out to Your Best Friend Before Your Parents
How to Come Out to Your Best Friend Before Your Parents
Best friends may be more supportive of you than your parents. If you want to come out to them before you talk with your parents, this article may help. If you are part of the LGBTQ+ youth community, or are financially dependent on your parents/relatives, this could be a safer alternative first.
Steps

Do your research. Become familiar with your sexuality and the terms associated by the public eye with it. (Being bisexual is not the same thing as being a pansexual, although some people get confused between the two.) Some common sexuality identities are homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, and asexual, but there are a myriad of different identities that you could identify with. If your parents or other friends check your recent searches, you could sign in as a guest user, or go on "private" browsing mode, and no one may know about your researching of the topic.

Bring up the topic while talking with your friend(s). Try to seem unbiased, or not leaning one way or the other. Your friend may mimic your reactions, so try to keep it undecided. Remember, you want to get a feel for how your friend reacts to this stuff, as it is a rather touchy subject with everyone at the moment. Use fictional characters, too. Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series could be a good example if you are both into the HP series. J.K.R. has said she always thought of him as gay, and this may be a good way to find where they stand. Choose someone who seems supportive of you as well as open-minded. If they do not react positively or undecided to this, drop the conversation. They are probably not the person you should come out to first. If they seem slightly uncomfortable with the topic, or nervous, see step below.

Hint about it. Make the terms more common in your conversations, drawing in a little more slowly each time. This will make them a little less shocked when you come out, and they will be more comfortable with the idea of diverse sexualities and gender identities.

Become closer to your friend(s). Hang out with them more often, and have fun with them. Don't bring up any topics they may not feel comfortable with yet, just be yourself and have fun. Bonding with them more helps more things other than coming out. They will be more likely to be empathetic, and want to comfort you when you need support.

Don't tolerate gay jokes. Discourage them calmly and politely, and they will be more likely to stop. If they get angry, do not pursue coming out to them. If the 'humor' is especially inappropriate, offensive, or harmful, do not consider coming out to them. Sometimes it may take a few reminders for them to not to make these kind of jokes anymore. If you find the joke funny, and it's not going to harm anyone, trust your gut.

Be there for THEM. You may have bigger issues, but they are still human and need a friend to help them. Let them know you trust them and you will be there for them if they need anything if they are confiding to you about a problem. If it a=is a large scale issue, like the death of a loved one, now is not the time to come out. Wait and be patient until they heal. Also, they may realize they are different as well, but that's not very common, so do not depend on it.

Come out. Tell them privately, when no one else is around, and don't make them feel awkward. If you have a crush on them, don't start hinting at it now. This may come later, but now isn't the time to tell them. Don't joke about it, or look embarrassed. If you are calm and confident, they will more likely be too. Do research on this as well. Be prepared for whatever happens. They may get very angry or sad, or may hug. Be sure to tell them in a safe place for you. Explain things gently to them, and don't get frustrated. You may have to restate several things from them. Always be prepared. Remember that you do not need to defend your sexuality to anyone.

Give them space and time. Everyone reacts in a different way, so it is best to let them sort out their feelings alone. Be prepared for the worst, and hope for the best. Don't come out while at a bar.

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