How to Find Joy

Deciding what joy is for you

Determine what joy means for you. It isn't a set concept and it does vary for everyone. However, most people would find joy in relating to loved ones, spending time with people they care about and counting one's blessings. Write a list of the people, things and activities that bring joy into your life. Keep it simple, focusing on what is achievable.

Be adventurous. There may be things that you don't yet know about that will bring you joy. If you have a hard time determining where you can find joy, perhaps you haven't yet had sufficient new experiences to expose you to all potential sources of joy. Try new activities, meet new people and try new things. Join a new club, group, Facebook or Meetup group, sports facility, hiking group or overseas tour. Discover new things to try and meet new people.

Finding joy in the ordinary

Think about the people you already know. Who are the people you can't be without, who bring a ray of sunshine into your day and who are special to you. Sometimes it's easy to take these people for granted because they're the ones who don't demand a lot from you, who can be relied upon and who are a source of support and unconditional love. These people bring joy into your life and are important for you to acknowledge as such.

Find joy in the journey. One of the most challenging aspects of life is the constant messaging to have goals and that it is only when these goals are achieved that you'll find joy. The reality is that the goal may not bring joy and that the journey along the way is your life and it's getting spent every moment, not just at the point of achievement. Thus, it makes sense to enjoy the journey and find what is joyful along the way, each and every day. Take care to avoid focusing so much on the finish line that you lose sight of joy in the journey. Notice the things that are good about each day. Notice the wonder of the world about you as often as possible. Make a conscious choice to stop now and then and really take in the things around you. Be interested in and curious about the world. Revive your childlike wonder, only this time, overlay it with your positive experiences and deeper knowledge.

Giving up that which decreases your joy

Allow yourself to recognize what is good and joyful right now. Sometimes being negative and down is a default mode, a way of struggling through life to try and meet expectations of others. Acknowledge that perhaps you're being miserable because it's just a habit you've fallen into and that finding joy is hidden from you because your habit seems more real, respectable and serious than seeking joy. If so, ask yourself why. Why do you think it's of more value to act serious and morbid all the time instead of being joyful and bright?

Give up the things that reduce your sense of joy. This is very personal and the actions, behaviors and problems that inhibit your ability to find joy are something that you'll need to work out. However, some of the key things that help many people include: Learning to say no to things you don't enjoy but learning to say yes to things you'd love to try but have been too scared to or worry about what others will think. Killing the negative self talk. It drowns out joy and suggests that you're not allowed to find joy. Stopping complaining. Complaining is a form of bogging yourself down in constant negativity and making judgments. Ceasing to criticize yourself and by extension, others through your critical eyes. Joy doesn't reside within criticism. Stopping people pleasing. If you're the sort of person who pleases people just to fit in or not rock the boat, it's time to overcome this habit because it's a joy-killer. Overcoming the fear of failure. Fearing to fail drives a perfectionism and makes it harder for you to enjoy yourself.

Learn to deal with problems. Hiding from problems, complaining about them or making them bigger just makes the problem worse. Confronting the problem and dealing with it allows you to begin seeing an end to it, and allows you to accept the joyful aspects that are beyond the problem. In some cases, there is actually joy involved in solving the problem too, as you are doing something positive to fix things. Break down large problems into small problems. That way, they won't seem so overwhelming.

Stay organized. Being organized in a busy life will help to remove sources of stress that can dampen joy. Make use of organizational tools that work best for you, not only at work or study but also for your personal and social lives.

Advancing your journey to finding joy

Keep looking for joy in everyday life and actions. It's a habit that needs constant feeding, so find ways to help yourself continue finding joy. Some suggestions include: Creating a happiness jar Writing a gratitude journal Expressing gratitude daily Finishing every day by asking yourself to pick three things that were great about the day. This could be extended to the family too, such as asking each other at the dinner table to name the three best things about the day and share it with each other.

Learn to find joy in adversity. This may be the hardest time to find joy, and can even feel wrong if you consider that there is no joy during hardship or loss. However, it is still possible to find moments of joy among the hard times and indeed, it's essential in order for you to feel self-nurtured and to come through the hard time in a better and more whole state. Notice the love of others around you. Even if you're going through a breakup, remember that there are other people who love you unconditionally, including your parents, siblings, children and close friends. Draw on their strengths to bring you some joy. Allow yourself some humor. Hardship isn't meant to be all about tears, frustration and anger. Humor can help to relieve tension and allows you to think more creatively and joyfully about things. It may even provide you with an opportunity to solve some of the problems. Give it go and allow yourself this break. Try a gratitude journal or keeping a journal of your thoughts. Forcing yourself to keep finding joyful moments can remind you that this time will pass and things will improve and become balanced again. Avoid making negative times into full scale dramas. If it's already bad enough, dramatizing it won't help any and will sap any joy. Bad stuff happens to everyone in life, at differing times. Magnifying the bad just brings more bad, so stop doing this if you've a habit of it. Turn to your faith or spiritual sources. If you have a faith or spiritual beliefs, these can be an important way to sustain you and bring joy back into your life during hard times.

Decorate your home with joy reminders. Find positive and bright images, inspirational quotes and even the word "joy" to hang about your home to remind you daily that you strive to find joy. This will help to maintain your focus on the good and the manageable, while always seeking the joyful.

Set aside time to do things that make your soul happy. This might be a hobby, spending time with friends, playing with your child, painting a picture or doing nothing at all. Whatever it is, always make time for it each week. This is vital to finding joy on a regular basis.

Be honest with yourself about what brings you joy each day. Instead of pining for the weekend, for the holiday or a special event, learn to see that joy is here now, today, where you choose to find it. Most of all, don't wish your days away.