How to Keep Your Crush a Secret

Hiding How You Feel

Take a deep breath before you talk to them. Your body will react to seeing or being around your crush. One of those reactions can be rapid breathing. Sounding breathless can be a giveaway that you like someone, so take a moment to breathe deeply, inhaling for 3 seconds and exhaling for 2. Then talk to your crush. Make sure you take this deep breath before they see you! If they notice that you're taking big, deep breaths before you talk to them, it can come across as kind of weird or at least give your crush away!

Smile like you would at anyone else. You might be tempted to give your crush an extra big smile. That’s almost always a giveaway of your feelings. Instead, concentrate on smiling naturally like you would for anyone else. If you can feel yourself smiling too wide, bite the insides of your cheeks. Also, try not to laugh too much at what your crush says. That can be a giveaway for how you feel.

Don’t touch your face or head. Unless you normally sit with head resting on your hand, don’t do it in front of your crush. Resting with your head against your hand can make you look like you’re obsessing or overly invested in what your crush is saying, and that can give you away.

Sit or stand comfortably. If you’re constantly playing with your clothes or fixing your hair, it might come off as flirting. It can also show your crush that you’re thinking a lot about how you look. Instead, sit or stand with your hands comfortably at your sides and stay still. If you're having a hard time sitting still, concentrate on relaxing each muscle in your body one at a time, beginning with your legs. This puts your focus on your muscles and keeping them still.

Spend the same amount of time with them as you do with others. If you’re suddenly making excuses to hang out with your crush, people are going to notice. It might be someone else, or it might be your crush. Spend the same amount of time you normally would with them, and avoid trying to make extra plans. For example, don't start asking your crush to have lunch with you every day, or to come over all the time. Once in a while - maybe once a week or once every two weeks - is okay, but not more than that. However, if you usually do eat with them or hang out with them every day, don't suddenly start avoiding them. That can also reveal your feelings!

Stick to general or shared topics when you're talking to your crush. The easiest way to give away how you feel is by talking about your crush. You might bring up what you think of their hair, their eyes, or how good they are at certain things. Instead, focus on general topics. You can talk about the weather or current news events, or stuff you have in common, like office or school gossip. For example, you can say "Hey Jerry! Did you hear that the new iPhone isn't selling as well Apple thought it would? Did you order the new one?"

Limit your social media interaction. It can be really easy to get lost in "liking" every social media your crush puts up. Doing that is a dead giveaway you have a crush. Instead, only like the things that are extra funny or where your crush looks really good. If you're nervous about liking too much, you can also stick to liking things that a lot of other people have liked. For example, instead of liking every selfie your crush posts, like the one that all of his or her friends have already liked. Or comment on a post that's about really big news, like if they got into college.

Handling Your Feelings

Remember that it’s natural to have a crush. Depending on your relationship status, or your relationship to your crush, you might feel guilty, embarrassed, or nervous when you think about your crush. That's totally natural! But everyone has crushes once in a while. Be patient with yourself. The more you fight your feelings, the more likely they are to get stronger and harder to hide.

Examine what your crush might mean if you're already in a relationship. If you develop a heavy crush on someone while you already have a partner, you might want to think about what that means for your life. Are you unhappy with your current partner? If that’s the case, work on the relationship you have. Talk to your partner about how you're feeling and what you'd like to change.

Keep yourself occupied. If you’re trying to deal with a crush, one of the best things you can do is to focus on other things. Take up a new hobby or spend more time with friends. Thinking about other stuff besides your crush can help you feel calmer about it. For example, you could start painting or knitting at home. Or you could start running or taking dance classes.

Think about why you like your crush. Is it because they're super funny? Or really kind? Or really cute? There are a lot of reasons to have a crush. If you know why you're crushing, you can be aware of the way you react to the things that made you have a crush on them in the first place. For example, if you know you have a crush because someone is funny, you can stop yourself from laughing too loud at their jokes. That's another sure sign you have a crush!

Considering the Consequences of Telling Them

Consider what relationship they might be in. It's pretty common to develop a crush on someone who is already in a relationship. If your crush already has a boyfriend or girlfriend (or spouse), really take some time to think about how sharing your feelings with affect them. Will it cause a breakup? How will you feel about being the cause of a breakup? What if they don't breakup? It's usually best not to say anything if your crush already has a partner.

Think about how your relationship might change. It’s easy to crush on a really close friend, especially if you spend a lot of time together. But you might want to think about how your relationship might change if you confess your feelings. There’s a good chance that if your crush doesn’t return your feelings, they’ll be uncomfortable and stop talking to you altogether.

Decide if you can handle their response. If you decide to go ahead and tell your crush how you feel, you’ll need to be prepared for their answer. They might return your feelings, which is great! If they don’t, are you going to be able to continue to be friends with them? If they do reject you, try to focus on going back to the friendship you had before. What made you want to be friends with them in the first place? Focus on those things.

Think about whether your feelings might change quickly. Crushes can come and go pretty quickly (although some stick around for a while!). If you confess your feelings to someone, what do you do if your feelings suddenly change? Then you may have started a relationship you want out of almost right away. Ask yourself how it would feel to go on a date with them. You can also imagine what it would be like to spend more time with them and do the everyday things couples do - fighting, grocery shopping, and making plans with friends. If those answers turn you off, your feelings will probably change quickly.

Consider how you want to move forward if your crush returns your feelings. If you do decide to tell your crush how you feel, you might discover they feel the same way. That's great! Before that happens, though, think about what sort of relationship you want. Do you want to be serious right away? Do you just want to date casually? Know what you're getting into before you get into it! For example, if your crush says they're crushing on you, too, say something like "Should we go on a date and see where things go?"