What Is Overcommitment? Meaning, Causes & How to Handle It

• Overcommitment is when you take on more demands than you can physically or emotionally handle.
• Overcommitment can cause anxiety, stress, and irritability and often stems from a fear of missing out.
• Avoid overcommitment by setting professional and personal boundaries and saying “no” more often.

What is overcommitment?

Overcommitment is when you have too many obligations at once. When you’re overcommitted, you’ve taken on too many tasks—there’s too much on your plate. Because of this, you likely feel overwhelmed, anxious, or worried. Taking on a lot of overlapping commitments and duties can put a lot of pressure on you professionally and emotionally, which can lead to forgetfulness and irritability. Overcommitment can happen in any field or with any lifestyle. For instance, you might overcommit at work by agreeing to complete multiple projects by the same deadline, or you may overcommit in your personal life by planning to hang out with friends back to back. It can be tricky breaking out of an overcommitment cycle. You made a commitment and want to honor your agreement—we get it! However, being overly committed to multiple projects or people can put you down a slippery slope of disappointment and cost you to lose more than you gain.

Signs of Overcommitment

You’re always tired and overwhelmed. If you’ve overextended yourself, you’ll likely feel exhausted and worried. Trying to prioritize multiple commitments at once can be tiring and take a toll on your emotional and physical health. You might be jittery and stressed or want to nap more than usual.

You ignore your own needs. Overcommitment may cause you to forget to eat, sleep, bathe, and exercise. The basic things in your daily routine suddenly become obsolete. Perhaps you give up 2 hours of sleep to work overtime or skip your usual meal prep because picking up fast food gives you more time to meet your commitments.

You have no free time. When you’re overcommitted, free time seems like a pipe dream. You don’t have time to relax when you have so many obligations on your plate. Having no time to unwind only adds to stress and could eventually lead to burnout.

You’re constantly making mistakes. If you have too many things on your plate, it can be easy to mess up. Your usually punctual personality and work efficiency suffer because of this, causing you to miss deadlines, appointments, or check-ins with friends. This can lead to disappointing yourself, clients, and those you love.

You put in more time but get less done. It can feel like you're climbing up an endless hill when you’ve made too many commitments. You do the extra work and put in a lot of effort to complete everything on your to-do list, but it still feels like you're swamped by the end of the day. Basically, the harder you push yourself, the worse you feel.

What causes overcommitment?

The fear of missing out. Everyone gets FOMO (the fear of missing out) every once in a while, but having too much of this fear could lead to overcommitment. For instance, fearing that you’ll miss a career opportunity if you don’t take on another task at work is a toxic thinking pattern. While you may miss out on one thing by doing something else, you gain life experience from everything you do—don’t regret your choices.

Underestimating the time needed to complete tasks. Sometimes, it can be difficult to estimate how much time is needed for specific tasks. You may commit to more than one thing because you think it’ll only take a set amount of time, only to find out later that you were wrong. Overestimating your ability to multitask under time constraints can play a big part in overcommitment.

An inability to say “no.” You likely overcommit yourself because you’re a bit of a people pleaser. Saying “no” to your boss or bestie is your worst nightmare. Because of this, you often find yourself saying “yes” to more things than you can manage just to make other people happy.

How to Stop Overcommitting

Think before you commit. Before you say “yes” to something, take some time to evaluate the commitment and your schedule. Is this task or activity something you can squeeze in? Is it something you can accomplish without stretching yourself too thin? Ask yourself these questions to help decide whether or not a commitment is worth your energy and time: Does it align with my personal or professional goals? Is this genuinely important to me, someone else, or a goal I support? Would agreeing to this cause me stress or worry? Can I still prioritize my wants and needs while making this commitment? Do I have the time to take this on? Would I be happy doing this?

Learn to say “no.” It may seem daunting, but saying “no” is the best way to stop overcommitment. Know that you're under no obligation to say “yes” to everything, no matter how it might seem. Politely declining things that don’t fit into your schedule or match your goals isn’t a crime—it’s a power move! Try saying something like, “I realize that this assignment will be put back in your hands, and I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Although I cannot fit it into my schedule right now, I’d be happy to discuss the overall direction and brainstorm new aspects with you.” In a more casual scenario, you might try, “I’d love to go to the movies with you, but I have an exam tomorrow. Let’s try catching it next weekend!”

Set boundaries and stick to them. Making clear boundaries for your professional and personal life is a great and healthy way to avoid overcommitment. You know your limits, so place parameters to protect your overall well-being. This can be as simple as turning off your phone at a specific point each night or leaving work behind at the office. At home, you might set a boundary to spend Sunday nights alone to decompress from the week and recharge. At work, you can mark when you’re having lunch on Slack or Google Teams, so you don’t get swamped with messages during your break.

Ask for help when you need it. There’s no shame in getting a little extra help now and then, especially when you’re overwhelmed! Don’t hesitate to reach out to your boss, coworker, or loved one if you need an extra hand with a commitment or two. Sometimes, having even the smallest thing taken off your plate can make the biggest difference. Don’t apologize for asking for help, even if it’s with a close friend or loved one. Instead, be straightforward with something like, “Hey, can you help me clean the house tomorrow? I won’t get home until late and want to make sure the place is in tip-top shape when mom comes.” At work, try reaching out for assistance by saying something like, “Hey Jeremy! I hope you’re doing well. Have you by chance worked on the new spreadsheet? I’m juggling a lot of priority assignments right now, and I’m not sure which category they fall into.”

Set time aside to rest. If you have a lot of blank spaces on your calendar, it can be tempting to fill them in with last-minute tasks and activities. But doing so can make you even more stressed. Instead, reserve your spare time to rest and relax. Not every hour needs to be busy! Relaxation is just as important and productive. Make time each night to read or journal before bed. Set aside time each weekend to pamper yourself with a bubble bath and facemask. Schedule a nature walk in the afternoons to step away from work and clear your head.

Adjust your commitments to fit your schedule. Not everything is set in stone—you can change your schedule! If a new obligation comes around that's a higher priority than others, do your best to rearrange your schedule to make completing it more manageable. Do your best to balance your time and commitments so you’ll stress less. For instance, say you receive an email from your boss asking you to complete an assignment for tomorrow morning's meeting by the end of the day. So, you swap the time to work on a task due at the end of the week with the high-priority task. This way, you can spend time on each with plenty of time to spare. As another example, say you’re a freelancer who creates graphic designs for various companies. Assess your schedule every month to see what your workload looks like. If you have gaps in your schedule, you likely have time to take on a new client or project. If your schedule is swamped, it may be time to hold commissions until your active projects are complete.