Why Pahlaj Nihalani's Censorship Is All Wrong

So much has been said about Anurag Kashyap’s upcoming film that if there’s anything ruling our timelines right now more than the summer vacation posts is the ‘Udta Punjab’ row itself. Let’s take a moment and forget that our ‘sanskaari’ certification board has yet again proved that we may have come a long way from the days of leaves-coming-together to depict a kiss scene, but our minds will forever be stuck in that era. Let’s also take a moment to understand how Pahlaj Nihalani has been making headlines for his bizarre bans when - if there’s anything that should have been banned includes his own bucket of films full of double-meaning lyrics.

In an era where everything is just a click away, it’s almost useless to ban films for reasons that aren’t understood by many, in fact understood only by one man ‘Sanskaari Censor Board Chief’ sitting in a chair and making cuts that are bizarre too say the least. Sexual innuendos, double meaning jokes and everything slapstick (not in a good way) is what rules his own filmography since a long time.

Be it the song ‘Khada hai, khada hai, khada hai’ from the film ‘Andaz’ starring Juhi Chawla and Anil Kapoor which obviously had nothing raunchy or the song ‘Mai maal gaadi, mujhe dhakka laga’ from the same film which again, was just too ‘pure’ to be in the limelight; all these songs have lyrics which are filthy, disgusting and everything that is being used to describe a mere realistic film set out to bring the drug menace in Punjab in the limelight. You got to have some expertise to come up with songs like these. See it for yourself and hey, don’t puke, please.

Oh, also the ‘Khet gaye baba, bazaar gayi maa, akeli hu ghar ma tu aaja baalma’ ( ‘Aankehin’, 2002) was the creation of our oh-so-dharmic mastermind! Nihalani’s films can easily be referred to as the pioneers of the film industry that gave birth not just to the lust-thrust age of cinema but also the art of making bucks despite the flawed plots and senseless depictions. But now that he’s old enough and as he says, mature enough to be the custodian of our culture, he’s determined to sanitise our culture and decide what people should watch and not.

Here’s a list of words that were banned by CBFC soon after Nihalani took over as the chief back in 2015 and if this was to be implemented in his time, we’re sure half of his films, or songs at least, would have stayed unreleased. (The list was withdrawed after opposition from its own team members.)

The difference between certification and censorship is not something as complicated as the thin line between sexy and vulgarity but alas, the current situation doesn’t speak of that. Anil Kapoor sporting a lungi and chasing Juhi Chawla is not vulgar but a film talking about homo-sexuality is. Women chasing Govinda busy doing suggestive steps in the entire song is absolutely fine but a James Bond kiss, its length to be precise will pollute the young minds. Sure.

Either the board is unaware of the issues which need to be tackled or they’re only interested to hit headlines for all the wrong reasons. You may grab eyeballs with these cuts and boundaries, but definitely not respect.

Yes, there should be certain guidelines to check what is being presented on-screen, but they should make sense to the people they’re being subjected to and obviously to the final audience it is being done for. If the people are thought sensible enough to elect a government for ruling their country, they should be considered smart enough to watch something on the make-believe cinema and make sense out of it, at least.