Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
In this article, we will discuss about Sleep Divorce and how this will arrangement will benefit your relationship.
You and your partner have been sleeping together for years, but lately you’ve been feeling more and more crowded in the bedroom. It’s like there isn’t enough room for both of you to rest comfortably.
What Exactly Is a Sleep Divorce?
In simple words, it’s when two partners decide to sleep separately within the same household. This means even if you share a house or an apartment, each partner has their own bed and bedroom. For some couples, this arrangement allows them to have more freedom and room to grow independently without having to think of someone else’s needs at the same time—and it helps promote better night-time rest overall. Plus, couples report that after a few weeks of getting used to the new situation (even if it might seem like a drastic change) they often feel more rested and energised in the morning, allowing for better communication during their waking hours.
How Sleeping Apart Can Strengthen Your Relationship?
While it may sound counterintuitive, sleeping in separate bedrooms can actually be beneficial to your relationship. Bedroom separation forces couples to find different ways to connect and communicate, which can lead to improved communication and stronger relationships.
Not only that, but sleeping apart can be really great for your individual needs. Everyone sleeps differently some people need complete darkness, some need an air-conditioned room, others need the company of a pet and when you sleep on your own, you can tweak things to fit your individual needs without having to compromise with a partner.
Furthermore, sleeping in separate beds gives each partner the freedom to move around as much as they want without worrying about disturbing the other person. This can help reduce stress and bring needed restful nights of sleep for both parties.
Finally, sharing a bed doesn’t guarantee you’ll get enough restful sleep you both could still be disturbed by each other’s movements or body heat during the night. Sleeping on your own means you don’t have those issues to disrupt your shut-eye.
All of these reasons combined make it clear that bedroom separation is not a sign of relationship distress, but rather, an opportunity for growth and strength in your partnership that should not be overlooked!
Staying Intimate While Sleeping Separately
Believe it or not, having a sleep divorce doesn’t mean giving up on your intimacy—in fact, it can even help to cultivate it! While sleeping apart from your partner may feel strange or uncomfortable at first, there are actually plenty of things you can do to maintain, or even deepen your connection.
- Show Physical Affection During the Day: Just because you’re in separate beds at night doesn’t mean you can’t still show physical affection during the day. Making an effort to hug, kiss, and touch each other throughout the day will help create a bond and strengthen your emotional connection with one another.
- Have a Date Night: Set aside some time for just the two of you no matter how busy life gets. Whether it’s a dinner outing every now and then or something as simple as watching a movie together in the living room, these moments of undivided attention count for a lot when it comes to keeping your romance alive.
- Connect in Different Ways: Take advantage of technology and stay connected throughout the day via text messages and phone calls. Even if you don’t always talk about important matters, letting each other know that you think about them can go a long way when it comes to relationship satisfaction. Staying intimate while sleeping separately isn’t impossible—by making an effort and being flexible in your approach, this could be exactly what your relationship needs to stay strong and healthy.
Making It Work: Logistics and Trial Periods
When it comes to making a sleep divorce work, there are a few things to keep in mind. First off, figure out the logistics of it all. Who’s going to sleep in which bed? Have these conversations now before you’re trying to go to bed at night.
It’s also important to give it time so you can adjust and figure out what works best for both of you. Having a trial period is essential for success. Give it at least a week or two weeks before you decide if this is something that’s going to work for you and your relationship and help make it stronger. Also, consider the timing of when you decide on this arrangement because starting during certain times could make it harder for both of you:
- During an already stressful situation, like when one of your kids is having behavioural issues or someone in the family is ill
- During exams or periods where one or both of you are extra busy with work
- Once one of you has already started snoring or can’t sleep well due to stress or anxiety
- Remember that sleeping apart doesn’t have to mean being apart emotionally. It could be just the thing that makes your relationship stronger than ever!Everyone has different needs and preferences when it comes to sleep, and it’s essential that they are accommodating to the other’s individual needs. A healthy sleep relationship that respects both partners’ needs and preferences is key for any happy and lasting relationship.Rather than seeing sleep divorce as a sign of a broken relationship, view it as an opportunity to bring your relationship closer together. Redefine your bedroom through sleep divorce by creating a respectful, caring, and understanding living environment. This will give you the opportunity to address the needs of both partners without sacrificing the integrity of the relationship. This could be just the thing that helps both you and your partner get the restful sleep you need.
Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain is the winner of the Swasth Bharat Rattan Award and is a Certified and Licensed Sexologist by the American Board of Sexology. He is currently a Senior Consultant at Dr SK Jain’s Burlington Clinic in Lucknow. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not represent the stand of this publication.
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