Making Excuses
Say that you're on antibiotics and shouldn’t mix the two. Do a little research about why you need antibiotics so you have a believable backstory. Don't share it openly until someone asks why you're not drinking or else they might think it’s weird or, if they know you’ve been trying to conceive, they might suspect something's up. For example, a urinary tract infection (UTI) is the perfect fake condition that’s commonly treated with antibiotics.
Blame it on a new diet that doesn't allow you to drink alcohol. If someone asks why you're not drinking, brag about a new "clean" diet you're trying out. Talk about how great it is for controlling inflammation and boosting your energy levels. If you're athletic, you can also add that you're training for an event like a race, marathon, or just working on your muscle tone. Some "clean" diets do allow for a glass or two of wine, so have a plan if they call you out on that. You can always say you're doing the gung-ho (no alcohol) version or that you can’t have alcohol because you’ve already passed your allowance for sugars and carbs that day. For example: "I'm doing the 30-day cleanse diet and, I gotta say, my energy levels are through the roof! Sure, I miss the taste of wine and all, but it's so worth it!" Keep in mind that some people might snicker because saying you’re on a clean diet makes them aware of their own unhealthy habits. Luckily, that's not your problem!
Opt to be the designated driver for the night. If you're driving out to a bar or to a house party with some friends, volunteer to be the sober one of the bunch to get everyone home safe. Once you're at the bar or party, refuse any drinks with a friendly, "No thanks, I'm DD tonight." Everybody can agree that drinking and driving is a bad idea, so it's unlikely anyone will question this excuse. This may not work as well if you live in an area with plenty of rideshare services or public transit. However, if you have a car, you can say you came straight from work or running errands and can’t leave your car parked on the road past a certain hour.
Pretend to be hungover and nauseated by alcohol. If you have a flair for theatrics, put on a nauseated face if someone offers you a drink. Try to act a little low-energy if you really want to sell it. However, don't let acting hungover keep you from having a good time! You might need to concoct a little backstory for this one in case someone asks you what you did the night before. For example, if someone offers you a drink, you could say: "No thanks, I'm giving my liver a break tonight. I met up with a friend from college last night and we went a bit too hard." This isn't a great one to use often (or around your in-laws or coworkers) because they might get the impression you're a big partier or that you have a problem with alcohol.
Use morning sickness as an excuse to play sick. If you're actually feeling a little green-faced from morning sickness, go ahead and play it up! Say you have food poisoning or a stomach bug. Make frequent trips to the bathroom even if you don’t need to go. For example: “Oh, I tried out a new place for lunch and I think the lettuce or the sprouts may have been contaminated. I don’t think I can stomach a drink right now at all.” An upset stomach, cramps, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and fever are all common symptoms that are pretty easy to fake (or fib about). The most common foods that cause food poisoning are poultry, deli meats, raw leafy greens (including sprouts), fish and shellfish, rice, eggs, berries, melons. This isn’t the best option if you actually want to hang out with your friends for a longer period of time. However, if you’re already feeling woozy from morning sickness (which can happen all day), take the opportunity to go home and rest!
Make up an allergy if your friends push you to drink wine or beer. Say that you're allergic to tannins in the wine or gluten in the beer. Be sure to sell the fib with an exasperated sigh as if you would really like to partake but just can’t because the allergy symptoms aren’t worth it. If someone offers a shot or cocktail, you can say you're lightweight or blame the particular spirit. For example, "Oh, I can't. Tequila and I are not friends!" This one’s tricky because you’ll really need to commit! You’ll have to stick with a gluten-free diet for the night and the foreseeable future until you share the news that you’re pregnant.
Pretending to Drink
Order mocktails or make your own virgin mocktails for an easy swap. If you’re out at a bar, ask the bartender for a virgin pina colada, margarita, or Shirley Temple. If you’re at a friend’s house and making drinks yourself, try whipping up a refreshing sipper with sparkling water, soda, and citrus juices. Try shaking up this easy ginger-lime mocktail: 2 fluid ounces (59 mL) of fresh lime juice 1 teaspoon of fresh ginger (1.7 g) (zested) 1 packet of stevia or 12 drops of agave nectar 18 fluid ounces (530 mL) of sparkling water
Pour out an alcoholic drink little by little if you’re hiding your pregnancy. If you don’t want to decline a drink from a friend, slowly pour it out little by little into abandoned glasses or the sink. Don’t pour it out all at once because that may entice someone to give you a refill. If there aren’t any empty glasses or if you can’t pour it into the sink without someone noticing, go to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. You can take fake sips if you want to play it off but odds are, nobody is going to notice you’re not drinking unless they see you actually pouring it out.
Refill opaque beer bottles or cans with water or soda. After a friend or bartender brings you your drink, take it with you to the bathroom and pour it out. Refill it with water from the tap or sneakily order a can of soda from the bar on your way. If you’re at someone’s house, simply grab a can of soda or glass of water en route to the bathroom. This may not work so well if the bottle is light-colored or clear because soda or water will obviously not pass for beer. If your friends already know you’re pregnant, order a non-alcoholic beer and sip away! If you’re hiding your pregnancy, take the bottle or can of beer to the bar and ask the bartender to pour non-alcoholic beer into a pint glass. You may end up paying for an extra drink, but it’s worth it if you really want to surprise your buddies later on.
Sip on soda and call it a mixed drink. To feign a rum and coke, simply order a coke and ask the bartender to serve it in a short glass. If you're usual is a vodka tonic (and your friends would think it weird that you’d branch out), ask for nothing but Sprite or soda water with a lime or lemon wedge in it. If your pregnancy is no secret, this is a good way to feel like you’re still partaking in the fun without the alcohol. If you’re hiding your pregnancy and somebody asks to try a sip, tell them you're worried you might be coming down with a cold. Of course, you'll need to play that up by faking a cough or a little sniffle here and there throughout the evening.
Drink clear nonalcoholic liquids in cocktail glasses. A cocktail glass can make anything feel festive—even water! If you’re out at a bar or restaurant, ask the bartender to pop a cherry, mint leaf, or olive in there to make it feel like the real deal. Drink it slowly as you would a martini and odds are, no one will even notice! If you’re hiding your pregnancy, this will only work if you volunteer to order the drinks at the bar by yourself. If you’re out at a restaurant or bar with table service, go to the bathroom when everyone’s ordering and, if possible, tell the bartender or another waitress exactly what you want while en route. The bartender might be confused as to why you're ordering water or soda in a cocktail glass, so give them a little wink and be friendly.
Swap champagne for ginger ale or sparkling grape juice. Ginger ale or sparkling grape juice are both bubbly substitutes perfect for toasting with friends. If you haven’t broken the news to people yet, volunteer to be the one to pour the bubbly so you can hide the swap. Limit your intake to 1 or 2 cans though because excessive sugar isn’t great for your baby.
Avoid doing the shoot-and-spit method with shots of liquor. Shooting real shots of alcohol and then spitting it into a chaser cup isn’t a good method of pretending to drink when you’re pregnant because some of the alcohol gets absorbed in your mouth. If your friends are pressuring you to take shots, kindly decline. You can also sneak off and tell the bartender to make yours out of water and place a napkin under it so you know which one to grab. Most people will understand if you say no to taking a shot, especially if they’re your friends. If someone continues to pressure you, make up an excuse like you’re on medication or you’re driving later.
Avoiding Alcohol during Pregnancy
Do not drink at all if you're pregnant. There is no safe amount of alcohol to consume at any point during your pregnancy, so plan to stop drinking as soon as you find out you're expecting. Dismiss any info you find online about it being alright to have a few drinks while you're pregnant—this hasn't been proven to be safe. Drinking while pregnant can lead to birth defects, fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, and even miscarriage. Do not drink while breastfeeding, either, as the alcohol can contaminate your breast milk.
Speak to your doctor if you find it hard to stop drinking. If you're used to having a glass of wine after work or a few cocktails on the weekend, it might be tough to kick that habit. Reach out to your OB/GYN or general practitioner for support and resources. If you have an alcohol dependency, work with an addiction counselor or other mental health professional.
Seek help from support groups if you need to. You can attend Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings (https://www.aa.org/) nearly anywhere in the world. If you're in the U.S., reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (1-800-662-4357 or https://www.findtreatment.gov/). If you live in the UK, call the free national alcohol helpline, Drinkline, at 0300 123 1110. In Australia, reach out to the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline at 1-800-250-015. Rely on your significant other if you have one as well as your friends and family for support.
Comments
0 comment